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Just Said Yes October 2021

Feeling Duped

V. Lee, on May 14, 2022 at 5:23 AM

Posted in Married Life 22

My husband and I have been married for 7.5 months now. I feel deeply deceived by him. It’s my fault because I denied my intuition initially and failed to dig deeper. I have not seeked counseling yet because I’m not able to afford it. We met at church and he’s been a long time member and many people...
My husband and I have been married for 7.5 months now. I feel deeply deceived by him. It’s my fault because I denied my intuition initially and failed to dig deeper. I have not seeked counseling yet because I’m not able to afford it. We met at church and he’s been a long time member and many people at church (including the pastor) always talked about how great of a man he was which led me to be too trusting. Divorce has been on my mind for three months now. Prior to us getting married, my husband made promises to me and made it seem like he was able to support us financially. He paid for everything and prior to getting married we were shopping for homes. He supposedly made a fortune from contract work overseas. Supposedly someone was holding all his money for him and when we were ready to buy our house this person stole all his money. I questioned what happened then but I thought he is a man of God, he would not make up such s story. I’ve had opportunities to marry men with money previously but they did not want kids. My husband and I have a great desire for kids and have plenty in common, especially our relationship with Jesus. Anyway, I had a great paying job and shortly after getting married my employer shut its doors. I decided to take some time off so I could focus on my marriage and give myself a break because I was exhausted mentally from work. Even though I was no longer working I found myself paying for everything including rent. He is retired and receives very little in retirement. He moved in with me and for the first few months I paid for everything. He refuses to work but pretends to be interested in jobs occasionally so I believe. I’m back to working again but I’m only making a third of what I used to make and I feel such a great weight. I honestly feel like my life was better prior to getting married and I resentment towards him. I’ve talked to my husband but he won’t budge. My faith with God remains but it’s been tested greatly. It’s hard to trust my husband at all now. Not sure what I should do. Any feedback is welcomed.

22 Comments

  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Red flags! I’d meet with a divorce lawyer asap. There’s no way a “hard working man” would be ok if a co-worker just stole all his money. He’d hire a lawyer, go back to a great-paying job in the meantime but not simply go to the gym & church while making NO effort to support his family. Ask the lawyer how to approach.


    There’s no reason why he can’t work 2-3 minimum wage jobs until he gets the job he wants. Employers are starving for employees right now.
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  • Stony
    Just Said Yes August 2023
    Stony ·
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    OMG... Such similarities. Get counseling and get out. We're going on 25yrs. Same manipulation has carried over from year to year. Children do not make it better. Church does not make it better. I'm still finding things out, and this weekend I discovered he manipulated our entire life together. I meet with my therapist today.i am finally breaking free. Don't wait 25 years. Your life WAS better before. God never intended for him to be in it. I'm so sorry this happened to you too.
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