Savvy October 2020

Feeling down

Nae, on December 30, 2019 at 12:37 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 5
This is a bit of a heavy message, but I’m feeling so down to the point of not even caring about having a ceremony or anything. My mom had a massive stroke, fast forward to today and she is still unable to walk, has lost some of her hearing and has trouble seeing.. before she got sick I had all of these ideas about how she would help me plan and be my right hand with all of this. But when I think about the reality and how she has not gotten better, how this has affected me and suffering from sadness when I think about it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. My FH wants this to be a happy time. I can’t pick out anything or even look at wedding things without feeling sad and thinking about how my big day won’t be how I’m imagined. Anyone had to deal with anything similar?


Latest activity by Michelle, on January 4, 2020 at 4:05 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    I'm so sorry this is happening. I didn't have anything similar happen, but I'm sure your mom would want you to have the wedding of your dreams. Although she can't help plan, you could still spend time with her while you decide things.
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag
    This is rough. I can imagine it's hard to be happy when she's going through this. Can you speak to her and ask her to be involved even if through video chat? She'd want you to be happy but it's okay to feel down sometimes. Turn to your friend fh when feeling down. I am praying for her.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    I wish I had concrete advice, but I just wanted to offer virtual well-wishes. I'm so sorry your mom (and you) is going through this. I wonder if it would be possible to put planning on hold for a bit to re-set yourself a little? I understand this may be difficult or borderline impossible, but it may be worth considering. Sending you positive thoughts!!

    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Savvy May 2020
    Chelsea ·
    • Flag
    My mom passed away unexpectedly about a month ago. And I get married in 4 ish months. It’s extremely hard and not fun thinking about your mom not being there the way you want her to be. The only advice I can offer is to try to find the things that you know she’d love to experience with you and make them about the two of you as much as you can. Does your mom like a certain song? Try to incorporate it. Does she like a certain food? Add it! It’s not fun but it doesn’t need to be the most horrible thing either. Try to find the positives in this situation, even if it’s difficult.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP September 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Nae I'm really sorry you and your family are going through this. I personally haven't been down this journey but try and remember that your mom is still your mom. She's still present with you. I know she wouldn't want your happiness to stop, no parent ever does. Maybe give planning a little break and just focus on being with her right now. I pray for peace and relief soon!
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