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Master May 2021

Feeling Down--others Don't Understand

Cristy, on May 23, 2020 at 10:52 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 4

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Our wedding was supposed to be next Saturday. I'm trying not to think about it, but my heart is broken! I have been through so much in my life, and I have waited so long to find the right person to share and spend the rest of my life with. I've spent the last two years planning my dream wedding, and saving for everything I wanted. Less than 60 days out, we were told we would not be able to have our wedding on the date we chose. Not even a reduced-sized wedding would be allowed. I live in the SF Bay Area, California, and we are a hot spot. NO gatherings of any size allowed.

Now that I am finally going to be a bride (in my 50s), it all came crashing down.

FH and I didn't want to give up on what we wanted, so we decided to push it out for a year. A whole year. ugh.

Everyone says, "oh, you'll still get married. it's no big deal." Ummmm.........yeah, it is. I still get to marry my best friend, I still get to spend the rest of my life with him. I just wanted the fairy tale wedding I've been dreaming of.

I guess it just got really hard today. It's only a week away. I can't stop thinking about what I would have been doing, had Covid-19 not interrupted my plans. Today I would have been getting my roots touched up, and my ends trimmed a little--just to freshen them. My sister, along with her husband and kids, would have been on her way from Idaho, to come spend the week with me and help me with all the last minute things. Anyway, it would have been very different around here.

I get to this point, where I need to reach out to others who understand, and then by the end of my pathetic little rant/whine, I feel totally disgusted with myself for feeling this way. I'm luckier than a lot of others during this pandemic. I still have my job (although FH doesn't), my family is healthy and safe, and I do still get to marry my best friend, and the love of my life. It will just be next year. I need to just suck it up and quit whining.

Thank you for sticking with me for the whole thing! Ok, crazy moment over, back to normal. Happy planning everyone!!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Kirsten, on May 24, 2020 at 2:46 PM

Super December 2020
Anais · on May 23, 2020 at 11:01 PM
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I am so sorry you had to postpone! Your feelings are so completely valid. It sounds like you’ve been dreaming about this day and working very hard towards it and to have it all taken away from you is so difficult!
I hope that next year your wedding will be everything you want it to be and that you will look back and see it as just another thing you’ve had the strength to surmount.
You can also try to stay positive and maybe see this as more time to save up and maybe add something to your wedding that you couldn’t afford?And I’d recommend doing something nice on your would be wedding day. Maybe order some take out from your favorite restaurant if it’s open!
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VIP August 1997
Belle · on May 23, 2020 at 11:16 PM
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I am very sorry, Cristy. My date is getting closer too, and I am getting nervous as well. I also waited for so long (24 years) to plan my own wedding. Now that we saved, kids grown, this 💩 happens. I keep hearing that this covid might get even worse, so I am slowly getting discouraged. The only way I keep myself motivated is by planning on details while I have time, and even more time in hand if we have to postpone. Bit I got you, waiting sucks. This uncertainty what comes in the future is a misery!
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Super September 2021
Sharon · on May 23, 2020 at 11:43 PM
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I can totally relate! I'm a first time bride in my 50's and we have been together for over 10 years. We're in NYC, another hot spot. We just decided to postpone to next year. At first I was not too gung ho about it and really didn't want to move it. Ultimately I realized it's not worth risking anyone's health and we'll be able to relax and really enjoy ourselves next year.

Your feelings are totally valid and no one else can understand what you're feeling unless they've been in this situation. Yes, you'll still get to marry him etc but we put so much time and effort into planning it. To be so close and have it pushed away is disappointing. You know we all understand how you're feeling.
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Devoted October 2020
Kirsten · on May 24, 2020 at 2:46 PM
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Please breathe. You are completely valid to have your feelings, I don't think it's whining. I hear you; I'm an older bride (44) who is finally getting the wedding I wanted and I would feel the same if I was in your position. Be kind to yourself and keep reaching out as needed!
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