Feeling discouraged

Do you not want to get married at a church?

You can still wear a white dress for a courthouse ceremony.

Where do you envision getting married?

View Quoted Comment I don’t mind the idea.... but my fiancé & I don’t attend a church regularly. My grandpa attends a church and he is one of the leaders and said we could get married there But my dad doesn’t want that. He wants us to attend our own church and then get married there.

Get married where you want to get married. If you don't and won't attend church regularly, it seems kind of silly to find a church just to get married in.

Def go for your vision and what you want. I believe your mom would want you happy & if a courthouse wedding and small reception after make you happy, go for it girl! It's your day!

View Quoted Comment That decision isn't up to your dad. You should get married wherever you want to. If that is your grandpa's church then that's where you should get married. If you want to get married at a courthouse then that's where you should get married. We got married at a hotel. I'm sure my very religious family would have preferred that we get married at a church, but my husband doesn't believe in God so that was out of the question. It is your wedding so you have to do what is best for you. You can wear a wedding dress to a courthouse if you want, but if that isn't where you dream of getting married then don't. Get married where you want to. Your dad will get over it and if he doesn't then that's his problem.

View Quoted Comment I like the courthouse idea because it seems fast to me and like it wouldn’t matter what people thought... but it’s not what I want. I want to walk down the aisle, music playing, everyone looking at me in my white dress but i care what my dad thinks. I hate it. It sounds silly my dream but idk 😕

View Quoted Comment Your dream isn't silly at all. That's the same dream a lot of brides have. I totally get caring what your dad thinks, but the only two people that really matter are you and your fiance. My guess is that your dad is used to getting his way so of course he is expecting to get his way with your wedding. At some point, you need to stand up to your dad. Otherwise, he is going to continue this type of behavior once your married and he will think he can make decisions like how you raise your children, how you spend your money, etc. If you allow this to continue, he could ultimately end up coming between you and your fiance and I'm sure you don't want that to happen. I am really close with my mom and her opinion is very important to me, but I know at times my husband gets annoyed with it. So I've had to learn how to better balance my relationship with my mom.

I’m sure this is hard because you want to make everyone happy. You need to do what makes YOU and your FH happy. It’s your day and if you don’t want to do a church but still want to have a big wedding then do it. People won’t all be happy but it’s a chance for you to stand up for yourself and do what you want. Your mom would just want you to be happy. It’s very common not to marry in a church now so don’t feel bad about that. We got married in a beach and everyone loved it even though it wasn’t a church. Do what makes you happy!

View Quoted Comment It's okay. We all care what our parents think, regardless of what others say. At the end of the day, just go for what makes you happy because you dont want to wind up regretting anything

I wanted to get married outside and my FH's mom was adamant that we get married in a church. The way I was raised, we believe worshiping in a church doesn't make you any more or a christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. The venue we chose had a "chapel", that's really just a separate building from the reception building. We decided to get married here for logistical reasons (Texas weather, guests being comfortable, etc.) but would have gotten married outside because that's what WE wanted. Don't change your dream to please others.

My FMIL pressured us to get married in a church, she talked about it for YEARS... and my FH and I knew right away that was NEVER going to happen because our values clash with hers and it is about our vows and our life so we just had to stand our ground, and also, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are doing what you’re doing. Do whatever makes you and your FH happy!

I kind of had the same idea, quick and easy ceremony. Being in the Midwest though I’ve attended a lot of religious weddings and they are honestly just as quick as going through the courthouse. As long as you don’t use a Catholic one that is. My best friends ceremony was 20 mins long!


A bonus is almost all churches have staff on hand to play music etc. and they usually just take a donation as payment. No need to be a member or anything either.
Bottom line, it is your day, only you and your fiancé can decide what you want to do, but I wouldn’t completely dismiss the idea especially if simple is what you are going for!

I think you need to discover what you want. Your father wants what's best for you but he doesnt know your heart. You should figure out what your dream is and then do that. A church is building, its your wedding that makes anybuilding special.

If it were me, I wouldnt be choosing a place based on your dad because its your day and you deserve to be happy. If you feel like you have to, though, wear your dress to the reception?

You can wear whatever you want for a courthouse wedding. We were considering it, and I was gonna wear my big white ball gown xD. Your mom will be happy no matter what you choose. She loves you, and is watching over you with a big smile on her face, knowing that you are happy and healthy, and living the life you want to be. Where you get married won't make any bit of difference in her love for you.

View Quoted Comment This sounds exactly like my fiancé and I and his mom! But couldn’t have said it better myself girl!

View Quoted Comment I think your dad is just trying to trick you into attending church. Get married at your grandpa's church if you and your fiance are ok with it. But don't let your dad guilt you into joining a church just so you can get married there.

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I agree so much with this. Join a church if you truly want to, not because you're trying to attend long enough that it qualifies as "your" church to your dad. Would your dad also be disappointed if you stopped attending the church after you were married? If you think so then you need to talk to him about what you want and how you picture your wedding.