Feeling discouraged, need to vent a little

First, my apologies this is your experience. I haven’t gone through this (YET) & I can only pray it won’t be this way. I was told that approximately 20% of your guest list won’t come. Unfortunately, as you mentioned, everyone’s situation is different. The time period from your STD to invitations is just enough time for people to experience death, lose their jobs, go through divorce or experience things that we aren’t aware of. Of course, we want everyone that we invited to attend. That’s why we invited them. However, life does happen and some people’s hearts are absolutely in the right place but can’t make it happen. It’s nothing to take personal at all but to understand that we have to be at peace with what we have when it happens. I know you don’t want to hear it but I must offer an encouraging reminder: your day will still be as grand and magical as you imagined whether 200 people or 20. You and your fiancé are walking into a joyous chapter in your life that will be witnessed by those that love you guys genuinely. The reality is that many people come to party while you and your fiancé are kicking off the start of the rest of your life. Who knows, many people that decline still attend. Things can suddenly change again. You never know. Enjoy your day, and I wish you guys the best. ❤️

We're in the same boat but it's okay - we almost expected it. Between our date being 3 weeks before Christmas, 3 months after one of my cousins and 1 week before another cousin's wedding, and many of our guests traveling we expected some declines.

Keep your head up and have fun!

A date near thanksgiving with out of town guests is tough. We are flying the week of thanksgiving for the first time this year and flights are more than 3 times the amount we normally pay! I know it’s disappointing and you’re allowed to feel upset, but let yourself feel and then try and focus on everyone who will be there with you!

View Quoted Comment Our date isn’t that close to thanksgiving, I have a fake date on my profile for anonymity but it’s a November wedding. I’m trying to be positive but it’s so difficult!

View Quoted Comment Oh my! Thank you for the input!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for that!

I feel you! We also ended up having about a 50% yes response rate. We sent out save the dates in early March (8 months out) since our wedding would require traveling for all of FH's family and most of our friends (distance depends). We invited 225 people (this includes +1's and children) and our final count is 117. A lot of our friends are not bringing significant others / spouses. Many of the "nos" or "fewer than expected" RSVP'ed at the last minute or past the deadline (e.g. a few of FH's cousins have several children, but either the cousin is attending alone, or just bringing one child), so we couldn't invite anyone else. At 4 weeks out, it's blatantly obvious that they were a second choice! And I also have 8-9 guests who are only attending the ceremony for a variety of reasons.

I was pretty depressed about all this until it dawned on me that I'd much rather have 117 guests who I want to be at the reception, rather than 175 that I can't get adequate time with. Of the 10-ish friends I invited from high school & college, all but 1 are coming (several flying in and many driving!), which makes me so happy. And now I'm almost done hunting down RSVPs, so I can move on.

I didn't go thru that but I can imagine it would be upsetting