Feeling defeated and a little confused..?

I understand where you are coming from and I think it's completely normal! Is there something you could treat yourself to on the honeymoon? You might find something that you wouldn't normally buy and splurge during that time. If not, I don't see anything wrong with looking at getting yourself something, you deserve it! Good luck girl!

Based on the title, this was not the story I expected to read!

No, you should not feel selfish for wanting to splurge on yourself. That's natural. The question really is if you're in a position to do so. If you guys are comfortable with it, try to something small for yourself. If not, unfortunately, that's the situation you're in.

My husband and I keep part of our accounts separate so we can avoid the ugly green monster. If he spends money on himself, well it was his money! The same with me. Yes, we have joint money for bills and saving for big picture items. But it's also nice to have the flexibility to just take care of ourselves on occasion.

I think it's natural to want to treat yourself after seeing your partner spend. It's not easy to save and it can be frustrating when your partner isn't as goal-oriented. If all your vendors are paid and you're in a strong financial position, I don't see any harm in getting yourself a little treat before the wedding. Otherwise, maybe wait until everything's paid off.

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Yay! It's nice to know I'm not crazy lol. You're right there could be something on the honeymoon, we shall see

Did he take the motorcycle safety class? If he takes that and wears all the gear all the time that's as good as it can get. (Hoping he's not out there riding in shorts and no helmet!) You could always get a bike and ride with him. It's so much fun.

I think I remember your previous post(s) about this. My only concern is it sounds like the two of you might have some different ideas about financial priorities and decision making. Since you have the money, these current purchases probably aren't a big deal, but over the long-haul you might find yourselves at odds about financial decisions and how much each of you feel you are being listened to. For now, I'd just concentrate on the wedding because it's so close, but after things settle down you might consider working with a financial planner and/or counselor to help build understanding and communication skills so neither of you starts to build resentment toward the other's approach to money. (PS -- as the wife of a "motorcycle guy," it is a LOT of fun! )

My FH and I are planning to set aside a certain amount of money each, each month that we can spend or save as our fun money. We can do whatever we want with it. It’ll be the same amount of money and what we do with it is our choice. That’s how we’re planning to keep it even and fair, because he likes to spend money on guns and ammo and stuff because going shooting is one of his favorite pastimes, which is a lot more expensive than my hobbies haha.

Nope go get your stuff!

I think it's reasonable, most of your concerns were about safety. I think it's reasonable to feel like you deserve to treat yourself too. I'd just make sure not get into the habit of it because spending money on toys you both didn't agree to is a hard habit to break once started.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.

I agree 100% with you guys! I don't think we have a financial problem, it's more of just how we want to keep things fair so that one person isn't getting a bunch of goodies while the other is trying to save lol. I buy more little things, he buys fewer big things so in a way it balances out. He said he won't be making any big purchases anytime soon. Thank you everyone for the advice!! This helped alottt.

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I'd be conscious that this doesn't turn into a resentment where he can treat himself but you don't feel like you can because you prioritize saving more. I'm not sure what your finances will be like when you get married but if it's 'put all the money into a pot and now it's our money', I'd make sure you both understand that. If FH makes more money than you, he may feel like HE has extra money to spend on random things while you don't because you don't make as much.

FH keep our finances 100% separate and neither of us would never tell the other one what we can or can't buy with our money. And this is coming from a girl who has never and will never ride on a motorcycle, guess what's in my garage right now? Along with like 5 vehicles that I don't think we need but HEY he spends his money on them so I don't really care.