Feel like wedding is becoming a burden

I totally know how you feel. I don't like people going out of their way for me. Keep in mind, you are not asking these people to do these things for you. They are doing it because they care about you. Its really hard for me to deal with it, much easier to type. But just relax, they'll all figure it out. You focus on the last minute details, etc.

Don't feel guilty. Like Kathryn said, you aren't asking people to do these things for you. I went thru something similar with feeling it was a hassle but it's a passing feeling and it will all be worth it for YOU and your FH in the end. Stay positive and feel better!

Hi Datetwin! Have you considered asking your bridesmaids to cancel your your bridal shower or bachelorette party to alleviate some of the burden? I know these are activities that are really exciting for you, but maybe it would help you feel a little better by giving everyone else a break.

I understand the hassle of lots of family travel before your wedding date. My poor parents are planning to attend my PhD graduation in mid-May (Virginia), my sister's Bachelor graduation in late-May (Nova Scotia, Canada), and then head back to Virginia for my wedding mid-June. I know they want to be at all three events, I just wish the timing were better. Initially I planned on graduating in December of last year, but my committee had other ideas...

Good luck!! Let us know what you decide.

Edited to provide some additional insight: My aunt hosted a bridal shower for me around Christmastime (yes, I know that was super early, but they wanted to have a party while everyone was at least within the same State/country). Anyways, it was so awkward to be the center of attention. Sometimes I wish we would've just gone out for drinks and avoided the whole present-opening and party-game awkwardness. I love them, but I'm much more of a low-key, behind the scenes gal and I hate when people spend money on me!

I feel your pain on watching your friends coordinate showers etc when you aren't supposed to be involved (aka help them like you want to). What I've tried to do is just step back and trust that they'll handle it in their own way. You get so used to planning everything with the wedding that sometimes you have to remind yourself that you can't control everything. Make sure they know you appreciate them and don't have high expectations/won't be offended if some ladies can't make it to the various events.

I'm four months out and feel the exact same way. My FH parents and my parents barely get along and it's made everything feel like a tragedy. For example, we are STILL, yes STILL cutting down our guest list because my FH family is humongous and we cannot 1) afford over 110 guest and 2) our venue would be super cramped with them. Okay, it's not his family, it's his mom's side of the family that is super huge. This lady knows like her 4th cousin's removed and sees them every family reunion etc. I straight up had to tell her our wedding is not her family's reunion. GEEZE. Our parents have been the worst part.

Anyway, my future MIL finally agreed to cut people with the idea that after our wedding and honeymoon that her side of the family will throw a big celebration to welcome me to the family. And she will invite everyone who couldn't come to the wedding. Great!

Well now my mom is pissed because she won't be at that celebration and is now claiming that his family is purposely cutting my family out. She tells me all the time, I will never be accepted. Yet, they are throwing a party to welcome me. I swear I don't know what goes on in their heads.

FH and I have thought about eloping about 100 times, but still somehow manage to keep working toward the wedding. I think what helps us is the fact that the wedding is about US and no one else. In the end I really just want to stand up there and tell him how much I love him and have an awesome party afterward. It's my idea to only get married once, so I'm trying to make it awesome.

Are people making you feel guilty? I've had to calm down more then one friend when family gave them heck for even having a wedding when other family members didn't. You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting to spend your day in a way that makes you happy. it's your time, you have a right to enjoy it.

No, no one is saying anything I just feel like I know it's an inconvenience.

I totally get that. No one has said anything negative to me about the wedding, but sometimes I feel really guilty about how much my friends and family are doing for us. My first really guilty moment came when my bridesmaids told me what they had planned for my bachelorette. I kept thinking, "I can't let them spend this much money?!" But it wasn't my idea, it was theirs. And even though it doesn't really get rid of the guilt, just remember that your friends and family are SO happy to be included in your wedding. And they want to make things as special for you as possible.

Just make sure you let them all know (a few times how appreciative you are, and how much you love them.

Weddings are stressful for all. As someone else said you could not have the Bach/ shower parties. Either that or just pick a night sooner rather than later, and let people know you would love them there, but if they can't are it not to feel bad. As for timings and other finances, it's always a feast or a famine! I know it sucks. We have so much family things this year it's unreal.