Feel like canceling the entire thing

This is certainly the place to share how the situation looks. There are some venues (at least in Vegas) that take care of most everything (but I'm not sure about allowing the dog unless it is an outside venue). Maybe people will have some encouragements and/or advice that can keep you optimistic or keep everything down to size where you can handle it okay.

One person posted about doing a beach wedding that just required a fee for use of the beach and then a vendor that handled just about everything else.

Hoping the best for you.

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Thank you for your kind words. I am trying to stay positive. I personally don't think an indoor wedding venue is an appropriate place for a dog. Unfortunately, I believe this is being used as a lame excuse not to attend and that hurts more than anything. The financial factor of it all is mind blowing, particularly when I am fitting the bill. Perhaps I will feel different in a few days.

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I hope you are not faced with having to arrange an event based on other people's expectations rather than you and your fiancé's desires. The event can often be situated at a time of day where no meal needs to be served but maybe only have snack foods. So I'm hoping you can find a good fit. Others will share as they sense your frustration. (And many have posted about troubles with the mood of family members.)

Yeah, I get all of what you're saying. First thing is to calculate exactly what you and you alone can do budget-wise. Maybe you want to do something different like a lunch or brunch reception. A cake and punch reception is also great if it isn't at a mealtime.

I guess what I'm saying is that the best way you can call the shots at your wedding is to have something within your budget. then you answer to no-one.

Amen to you both! Especially if I am paying for it. The biggest thing is that I don't want the event to be haphazard or sloppy and I feel like there is SO many details involved that I may miss some important ones. I appreciate the advice.

Not having a traditional wedding is totally acceptable! That day should be completely about you and your SO, and how you both want to celebrate. If that means a very small event, then that’s fine. Or, if that means having a courthouse wedding or eloping just the two of you, that’s awesome also! Don’t feel pressured to spend a bunch of time or money stressing about a wedding you don’t want to have.

I’m sorry you’re going through that. Try your best to just focus only on what you can directly control and change. Everything else you can’t control or change (ie your mom’s threat to not come), It is what it is. Maybe important stuff, but it’s a waste of energy worrying and stressing over things you have zero control over.

Agree with everything said above, but wanted to add that bridal shows may not be the best place for you right now. You have a lot on your plate and bridal shows are super overwhelming all by themselves. There are dozens or hundreds of people vying for your attention and trying to convince you that your wedding won't be complete without giving them money. Best of luck!

I would take one step at a time. The most important part if you haven't already is booking a venue. If you don't have a venue maybe try to find one that offers a lot of add-on services. For example, we got married at a hotel so there was no need for us to worry about guest accommodations. They also provided all catering including the wedding cake, table, chairs, place settings, linens, and uplighting. We could have also paid more and they would have done the flowers for us as well. One thing that helped me stay organized was a wedding planning book my mother gave me when we got engaged. I've linked it below. It might help you throughout the planning process. As for your mom do you really think she would skip your wedding if her dog can't attend? If so that's extremely petty and rather ridiculous of her to impose such a demand. I personally wouldn't give into her craziness.


https://www.amazon.com/ultimate-wedding-planner-organizer-binder/dp/b00gsd5qm0/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?crid=1i7t5nsdgj1ck&keywords=the+knot+wedding+planner+and+organizer&qid=1666011846&qu=eyjxc2mioiiylju3iiwicxnhijoimi4xncisinfzcci6ijeuotgifq%3d%3d&sprefix=the+knot+wedding+%2caps%2c129&sr=8-4#

First congratulations to you. Secondly the planning process does not have to be that overwhelming. Like many others have mentioned there are lots of venues that will provide almost everything needed. Not sure where you plan to have your event but look into a good old fashioned banquet hall. They usually provide location, food, tables & chairs, lining and bar options. With the exception of a DJ or whatever type of entertainment you like this is the entire reception… Don’t expect or compare your event to anyone else’s or the layout of the bridal shows. Yours can be as fancy or modest as you want or can afford. In your case a wedding planner or consultant may be a good idea. As far as your mother if she’s willing to pay for whatever accommodations her dog will require then maybe it’s doable. But if you do not want her dog in attendance then by all means tell her and she will have to make a decision. Good luck

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Thank you for the excellent advice and link to help stay organized. Unfortunately, this is the second time that my mother has stated this so I believe she simply does not want to come and is making an excuse. She mentioned something about Face Time. Not going to do any of that. As a pet owner myself, I understand people get attached to their fur babies, but to have an out-of-control hyper dog running around an indoor venue is completely unreasonable. Especially when I suggested to bring the dog on the flight, to the hotel and hire a sitter for those 4 hours and it was shot down.

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Thank you. I booked a venue and a planner, but I don't like I have to keep chasing the planner to remind me about everything. What am I paying you for? She kept asking me to name 10 things that are important. They are all important! Not one aspect of this wedding is unimportant. I wish the dilemma about the dog came down to financial logistics. She stated she does not want the dog in a kennal or to be separated from the dog during the wedding or reception. Funny thing is, she officiated my sister's wedding a few years back with no dog and flying from out of state. She also has attended a Broadway musical for several hours without the dog in attendance.

View Quoted Comment You're very welcome 🙂 As for your mom I'm very sorry. It's a shame she's being this way. I hope you are able to gain some excitement back for planning your wedding.

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That shot down my idea of having a dog sitter for the event. That person could even have the dog out at the sidewalk so mommy could visit a lot. But you pointed out how this appears to be an excuse. It is hard to tell if she has a gripe about the wedding plans or maybe has some other issues in her own life. Hope it can work out well and maybe with her grateful attendance.

Just cancel then. no need to add extra stress

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This. We had already picked out the majority of our vendors but we went to a Bridal Expo just for fun and... it wasn't that fun! It was overwhelming. I can't imagine going and actually trying to make decisions based on it.

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What do the bridal fairs do that caused you to be overwhelmed? Are they offering too many features to consider for a wedding? Of course the purpose is to get us to buy more services.

Sorry you're so stressed. Taking care of your dad has to take so much of your attention and energy. When you have a quiet moment, I'd suggest talking it all through with your fiancé, so that you are clear regarding what is most important to the two of you. Then relay that to your planner. From our experience, the more inclusive your venue, the easier things will be. Not every detail needs to be given a ton of energy, focus on what's most important and the other stuff, choose whatever is easiest. And, the next time your mom brings up not coming without the dog, quickly respond: "Oh, that's a shame, we'll miss you." After that, change the subject or end the conversation; don't engage regarding her demands and ultimatums. Let her know what your decisions are and move on. The less you feed her drama, hopefully, the less of it you'll have to deal with. Good luck to you!

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Wonderful advice! Thank you. Fortunately, I've have some time to reflect on everything and one person doesn't stop the show. I actually went to a bridal show this past weekend and it was a little overwhelming in the sense that there were several things I hadn't done yet. But my planner reminded me there is still 10 mins to go.

Good that you have a planner and you have restored hope. Thanks for the update.