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Master December 2019

fbil may be a problem...

Courtney, on May 23, 2019 at 5:13 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 2

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My FBIL (FH's older half-brother) is going through a divorce and is making everyone feel on edge. To be honest, we get along much better with his soon-to-be ex-wife then we do him. My fiancé adores his nephews and can't wait to have them in the wedding as ring bearers. But we're worried that may not happen...

FFIL was recently remarried and had a big BBQ for all of their collective kids and grandkids. Well guess who was forbidden to attend? Yep, the nephews. FBIL has since been making comments alluding to not coming to the wedding or not allowing the boys to come either. And of course this has upset my fiancé.

FSIL has been playing nice and giving into to his demands during divorce proceedings. We're afraid FBIL may do the same thing and not let the boys come to the wedding if it's not his weekend with them. Or if it is, going MIA and not bringing them at all. We do plan on inviting FBIL to the wedding to further incentivize him to bring the boys.

My FH refuses to speak to his brother because of the divorce and can't understand why a grown man can't get his act together

Any suggestions on how to handle?

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2 Comments

Latest activity by Sinéad, on May 24, 2019 at 9:23 AM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on May 23, 2019 at 7:32 PM
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There’s really nothing to handle. He’s an adult and those are his children which makes it his choice. You invite him and his children, and then they either come or don’t come. I suppose you could invite his soon-to-be ex-wife with the kids instead but I imagine that wouldn’t go over well.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on May 24, 2019 at 9:23 AM
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Hi Courtney! I’m sorry that you and your FH are going through this.
Unfortunately, you cannot control who attends and who does not attend your wedding. I know it would mean the world to you and your FH if the nephews could attend and stand as ring bearers but this also comes down to the wishes of their parents.
I know it may seem difficult but have you and your FH considered sitting down with your FBIL to discuss the situation? You can explain to him that, despite the difficulties you have been through recently, it would mean a lot to you both if he and his children could attend the wedding.
Perhaps leaving some time to let things settle between your FBIL and FSIL would also be a good idea, before bringing talk of your own wedding into focus.
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