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VIP August 2020

Father/daughter dance with absentee father

Kathryn, on January 27, 2020 at 2:02 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 4

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I won't go into the whole mess, but my parents had a messy divorce that was at least 80% my dad's fault. He has since kind of been an asshole who has only dealt with his kids intermittently. He and I do not have the best of relationships, and he has always been against us living together without being married. Hopefully everyone will calm down though now that we're trying the knot.

That being said, I need suggestions for the father/daughter dance. I thought about just picking something off of the "frequently used" lists, but most of the lyrics talk about good dads and the love from a dad. I did listen to Butterfly Kisses and teared up because of the relationship I wish I had with my dad. Ditto with most songs on there.
Any suggestions for surface sappy songs? I almost want to do "you got a friend in me" and be done with it. I wouldn't do the dance at all except there with be more talk if we skip it, and my dad is all about appearances.

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Latest activity by Kaysey, on January 28, 2020 at 2:24 PM

Super December 2021
Casey · on January 27, 2020 at 3:43 PM
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Real talk? **** appearances. I'd be saying "if you care so much for appearances to others, you should've appeared to have been a good dad."
This is your wedding day, don't feel forced to do things for other people. Make it a day you feel so happy and full of love. Suffering through a fake dance with your father sounds like it will damper your day and spirits. Do what's best and right for you. 💖
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Dedicated October 2020
Mary · on January 27, 2020 at 4:18 PM
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Yeah I'm with Casey on this one. Life becomes much easier once you stop caring about "appearances". Is your fiance doing a mother/son dance? If he isn't, then it becomes very easy. Just do a first dance, and that's it. These dances aren't necessary in the first place.
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VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on January 27, 2020 at 4:39 PM
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He is not most likely because his mom has a hard time getting around - she needs a new knee among other things. So we might just do the first dance and axe the parent dances. Either that or I find a fairly lowkey song and just deal with it. My family aren't all that thrilled that he's coming, and I just kind of want to get through the day with as few feathers ruffled as possible.
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Super February 2020
Kaysey · on January 28, 2020 at 2:24 PM
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I agree with the previous posters. Given your relationship with your father and how you said you wouldn't do the dance, I'd say keep with what you just said and do your first dance and that be it. My FH and I are only doing our first dance. My father passed so my grandfather will be walking me down the aisle and he wouldn't like doing the dance, he said. My FH and his mother aren't dancing either. She is very shy and does not like being the center of attention.
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