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Margret
Beginner March 2020

Father/daughter Dance Song

Margret, on January 29, 2020 at 9:08 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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Hello all! So this is very difficult for me since I am having a very hard time finding a song to play at my wedding for this dance and I have this little rant I need to say so you understand where I am coming from... I am not close with my father. He is rude and spreads lies about myself and my siblings to other people including family just so they will disown us. I invited him to my wedding because I wanted to TRY and have a relationship with him, but he is making it very difficult to the point I want to cry. My parents divorced when I was 10 and its been 13 years since they separated. He cheated on her and said many mean things and stole lots of money from us. He remarried a year after the divorce to the woman he cheated with (who by the way abused me and my sister at a young age unsupervised but police documented). I REALLY am trying to make some kind of relationship with him so I added him from the start to the wedding plans. Got the Tux picked out, planned the ceremony with him in it and also trying to plan a father daughter dance. My mom remarried about 10 years ago and I have a GREAT relationship with my step-father, but my biological father despises him. I originally asked both of them to walk me down the isle, but my biological father did not like that one bit. He stated and I quote "If I can't walk you down the isle and give you away myself without your step-father there, then I will not come to your wedding. I will make sure you regret this by making everyone resent you." I shrugged it off because I told him its my wedding and I wanted both of them to share it with me. Well turns out he got 15 people who I invited from his side of the family to despise me and not want to go to my wedding because I "Didn't want him to attend due to him being a bad father" which I did not say one bit. I am very heartbroken and still plan on having a father/daughter dance for him but my brother will be filling his shoes instead since he wont attend. I need help finding a song that would go with my situation that isn't mushy or has anything to do with 'loving me' because I feel like he never did.. I picked 'Hold My Hand by Hootie and The Blowfish for my step-father's dance so I need something with our without lyrics for my 'real father' dance.. I could use all the help and some love sent my way. Smiley heart

10 Comments

Latest activity by Rae, on February 25, 2020 at 11:14 AM
  • Mandee
    Devoted September 2020
    Mandee ·
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    Baby girl, don't invite him. Don't reward his manipulative behavior by giving in to his bull-crap and the family who comes will see that he chose to not be there for his daughter. Just because he donated his sperm does not mean that he's your father! Honor your step-dad who was actually there for you and isn't being a tool! Dance with your brother! Be happy! If other people want to believe his crap then let them! It is not your job to make other people like you and esp not family!!

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  • Margret
    Beginner March 2020
    Margret ·
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    Smiley heart Smiley heart Thank you girl that means a lot!!

    tenor.gif


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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Agree, there is only one thing we can do with people like that: kick them out of your life! Your life and metal health will be so much better without his toxicity around to ruin you. I agree with Mandee, honor the men who HAVE been there, stepped up, and supported you. Don't reward someone who doesn't deserve it! Best of luck to you!


    P.S.: if his family is so quick to "resent" you after lies from your toxic father, don't invite them either. They don't get to share in your happiness if they choose to believe lies. In some cases, the apple doesn't fall from the tree!

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  • Jennifer
    Super October 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I understand how difficult of a situation it is when it is one of your parents. When my mom was alive, she was toxic an manipulative as well. I eventually cut her out of my life completely and it improved my mental health exponentially!

    I agree with PP that you should not invite him or the family members he turned against you even if they come crawling back begging to come to your wedding. It will just make your day that much more stressful.


    As far as a song, how do you feel about "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra?


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  • Margret
    Beginner March 2020
    Margret ·
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    I do love Frank Sinatra and that song. I might do that thank you. And thank you all for the positive feedback and support! It means a lot to me.
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  • Erica
    Dedicated October 2020
    Erica ·
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    I too am not close with my father (not in the same situation as you), but I understand how you feel. He was great when I was little & became distant when my parents separated when I was 11. I definitely understand why it's bothering you & why you still wanted to give him a part since he is your father. My heart goes out to you. I agree with everyone else that you shouldn't invite him, but again I get if you're even battling that decision. At the end of the day, just remember that you want to be happy on your wedding day. Wedding day provides enough stress without having to deal with someone's (or multiple people) negativity, when they should be doing what makes you happy anyway. A lot of people forget that a wedding ISNT about them at all!


    Best wish to you & congratulations!

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  • Jordan
    Expert March 2021
    Jordan ·
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    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that. Completely unnecessary on his part to add more stress onto you like that! I'm know it's super hard right now but I think him not coming is probably going to be the best thing for you at the moment. You would hate for him to come and end up ruining your day and make you upset during your wedding. It sucks you have to deal with it but better now than wedding day. :/ I think that you are dancing with you brother is amazing and a great decision!

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  • Margret
    Beginner March 2020
    Margret ·
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    Thank you! Its for the best.. im at the point where if I have kids he’s not allowed to see them or have him be in their life.... he was barely there for me as a kid so I doubt he will be there for them.
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  • A
    February 2020
    Amy ·
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    Isn't she lovely? Stevie wonder? Simple but not overly farther daughter. Most importantly YOU DO YOU and the people not coming are just sheep's very immature
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  • Rae
    Savvy June 2021
    Rae ·
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    "Daddy Lessons" Beyonce

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