Father of the Bride's Girlfriend

She can wear whatever she wants, that is not a white ballgown or otherwise matchy with your dress.

You can recommend that she matches with your color scheme, but don't make it necessary.

Let her wear whatever she wants. She will dress for the event and look lovely and she can never take your mother's place.

She wears what she wants.

Whatever she wants and feels beautiful in. If you'd like her to stand out, consider including a corsage in your flower order.

Very good advice re:pp. I'm saving two chairs for my parents in the front row as they have both passed. I'm not doing anything special for my stepfather and his girlfriend as I am not close with them. However, in regard to other attendees, I think that if she is important to you/FH and your father, then it doesn't really matter what other attendees think.

Totally agree with @Jeanne!

I believe from your post she asked you what to wear???

I agree with mrs. Kassy, maybe the two of you can go shopping together and see what she chooses. Basically let her lead. You can suggest a wedding color as guidance, but I think spending time with her might be the reassurance she needs.

Yes, she has asked my what I would like her to wear. I am just struggling because I want everyone to be happy. I feel like she needs some kind of recognition because of how close we are and how long she has been around me growing up. Also, because I know she is very special to my dad.

Just tell her the level of formality and let her pick something out. Maybe suggest a shopping trip together? I assume she will be sitting with your dad, in the front row with your family etc etc so I think that would be recognition enough?

I would be sure to get her a corsage!

Whatever she wants. I'm not picking out my moms outfit.

Everyone is saying that she should wear whatever she wants, which is true, but I think I know where you are coming from. I didn't have your situation, but both my mother and MIL asked me what I wanted them to wear. I was confused and said whatever, but they actually wanted me to tell them something. In the end my mom, my MOH, and I went shopping and found something together. Once my mom had something I showed MIL a picture and she was happy to find something on her own then.

I would suggest the two of you go shopping. Let her pick out outfits, but you'll be there to tell her that you think they are appropriate, which I think will make her feel better about her choice. As for marking her as important why not get her a flower. We had flowers for everyone important at the wedding. My brothers had boutonnieres, I gave our readers wrist corsages, and my grandmother had a regular corsage, etc. My mother asked for flowers to put in her hair in a twist so she got that. They were all subtle, but a nice way to mark the VIPs.

I agree with Jeanne above - it would be very classy to include a corsage for her. Everyone knows that corsages matching the wedding flowers are for special women (mothers, grandmothers, loved female relatives). This would greatly honor her place in your life.

Having her wear a dress that matches/coordinates with the wedding party is a nice touch as well.

Don't worry about the way your family sees her. YOU see her in a special way then thats all that matters. I agree with Kassy

Katie - my mom and FMIL also keep asking me what they should wear.

I think you should encourage your dad's girlfriend to wear whatever she wants, and I would be sure to get her a corsage. (This will not mean she has replaced your mother, but it will signify that she has been important in your life the last 10 years. Hopefully your other family will be adult enough to understand this).

Good luck!

Like your mother and FMIL, she should be allowed to wear what she wants.

I am in this situation. I am the father of the bride's girlfriend. The mother of the bride is wearing a solid black, off the shoulder, floor length dress. The wedding is in April.....HELP!!!!

I too have a situation. I am the Father of the brides fiancée, the Mother of the bride is alive and wearing black gown the 4 girls are wearing lavender gowns.

The bride is 49 and this is a 2nd wedding, she never had a full wedding for her first, she was married in the service years ago...

I bought a gold/tan gown is this too much since the father of the bride and I are not married yet? Or should I just wear a dress . I don't want to look ridiculous in a gown for not being in the family yet.

Wear what you feel comfortable wearing. My dad's girlfriend wore a nice knee length black dress and my MIL wore a long black dress. I think you should too look nice and be comfortable in dress that you want to wear. You are engaged and I think that shows that you are considered family. I included her in pictures and took some without her and I thought it was important that she look and feel beautiful that day as well. She is very important to me and my father and that means the most to me. She was included in all my pre-wedding activities as well and had her hair done as well with us. If you feel that you would look ridiculous in a gown, then I suggest just a nice elegant dress that goes with the color scheme of the wedding and is different than the Mother of the bride (this may depend on the relationship between the two of you) as to not step on her toes if she has indifferent feelings towards you. Maybe you and the bride could go and look at dresses together if possible and you could get a feeling of what she would like you in.