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Super May 2015

Father of the Bride Problems

Kendra, on July 17, 2014 at 12:02 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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My father has never been a huge part of my life. I do not hate him or anything. We see each other about two or three times a year. My grandparents raised me until I was 10. I have a great relationship with both my grandmother and my grandfather. I moved in with my mother when I was 10 and she got married. My step dad has been a big part of my life for the 13 years that have followed. I am much closer with my grandpa and my stepdad than I am my birth father. I spoke with him recently, and told him, "To avoid hurting anyone's feelings, I will just walk down the aisle myself." I was rather surprised when he said that hurt his feelings. I didn't know he had any expectation of walking me down the aisle. I don't know what to do. I would prefer to just involve my gpa and stepdad. But I dont want to cause any tension. He has never made me an important part of his life, why would he expect that I would make him a big part of the most important day of my life? He isn't paying for anything, btw

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Latest activity by ToBeMrsChesley, on July 18, 2014 at 3:37 AM

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MJBride · on July 17, 2014 at 12:14 AM
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That's a tough one. I've been to a wedding where my friend was more close to her step dad than her bio dad. She ended up having her step dad walk with her to where the seating started and then her bio dad was waiting there for her and walked the rest of the way. It was also an outdoor wedding, not sure how it would work if it were in a church (not sure where yours is taking place as well)

I'm in a similar situation. My dad and I were never really close. He divorced my mom when I was 18 and moved away when I was 20. Came back at 21/22 and then left again two years ago. I actually asked my mom if she would be ok having her and my dad walk me down the aisle. Even the my dad and I won't have the greatest relationship, he's still my dad ...but at the same time for the past 10 years plus it has always been my mom and I, if I was in a tough spot, my mom would come to the rescue, or if I was having a bad day she was there for me. My mom really did play both parental roles for a few years.
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Dedicated September 2014
Marissa · on July 17, 2014 at 9:57 AM
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You need to do what is right for you. My dad passed away a few years ago, but he was never a true "dad" to me and if he was living there is no way that I would have him walk me down the aisle. YOUR day is to celebrate the love between YOU and FH, it is not a day for him to show off that he is your bio dad. If you do not want him to walk you down the aisle, then he should not.

Good luck and I hope you find the best option for YOU.
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Expert October 2015
Caitlin · on July 17, 2014 at 12:46 PM
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Do what will make you happy. My father raised me but we have an awful relationship. He seems to be trying more since I got engaged. I'm planning on having my uncle walk me down the aisle. You have to do what is right for you.
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Dedicated August 2014
David · on July 17, 2014 at 12:50 PM
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Do what FEELS right and don't think too much about what he said.
Sometimes you think you hurt someone but they have to realize that it's not about them but about YOU.
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Super August 2014
Mrs Gray · on July 17, 2014 at 4:09 PM
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His expectations we unrealistic. That's his issue to struggle with.
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Devoted June 2015
WhitWhit420722 · on July 17, 2014 at 4:28 PM
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I'd say have grandpa or stepdad do it. That's the consequences for not being is his child's life. He made a choice then and has to deal with it now. What did he expect really?
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Dedicated September 2014
ToBeMrsChesley · on July 18, 2014 at 3:37 AM
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I am in a very similar situation and am having both my Grandfather and my father walk me down. I am also doing a dance with each of them. Good luck!
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