Father in Prison

Maybe ask you mom and your grandma what they think since they are paying for it. Do they care if their names are listed on it as the hosts or not? If they don't care just say together with their families

They don't care, but I don't want people to get the wrong idea and think we are paying for the wedding with their help when they are paying. My mom is paying for everything. My grandma is paying for the meals for my dad's family and her guests. However, this is the only solution I can see too.

My FH and I are paying for the bulk of our wedding, with all our in laws pitching in various amounts of money. As long as your family isn't super keen on following traditions, Just put your name & FH's name on the invite, and say that you are inviting all the guests.

Honestly, when I see the names on the invite, the thought never pops into my head "OOOH that's who's paying".... and besides. it's not really anyone's business where the money is coming from.

I dont think people really look at the invitation and think about who is paying. Most people I've run into dont even realize the different wordings for who is hosting unless they have planned a wedding themselves.

The family of Erica ______ wish to invite you to celebrate the marriage of their beloved with ____(insert groom's name here)...

I'd say "mrs. Moms name together with mrs. Grandma's name cordially invite you to the celebrate the marriage of their daughter & granddaughter erica" its but it gets the point across. Also for those above who says no one will wonder whose paying, if your dads in prison ppl will wonder whose paying. Thats not something ppl forget.

True. Some people will not understand or care about the wording etiquette. I am worried about those who do. I like EricaTx idea. Lets guests know that we are not paying and the entire family has stepped in to help in my dad's absence. I also agree, it really isn't anyone's business who is paying. I am just trying to do this right. I am going to miss my dad not being there so much already. Just want all to be good.

Erica, so sorry your dad can't be there. I'm not really clear if your parents are divorced, or just physically separated due to prison. While the payment thing is traditional, nothing says it's mandatory to only indicate who paid. Your grandmother may, in fact, prefer that you put your mother and father's names on the invitation as the hosts, depending on the situation. If your dad and she are estranged, or your parents are separated, then I would definitely go with EricaTX suggestion - it avoids any questions.

I look at that stuff.... especially if I know the couple isn't paying. I just like to see who and who does not know any better. lol I like the way Faran worded it. Then after Erica it should say "to (grooms name)". My fw and I argued on this for a while before I gave in and compromised on "together with their families" when WE are paying for it. My mom ended up buying my wedding gown and accessories though. And come to think of it her parents got us the UGLY ass reception venue for free.

I would still say "together with their families" ... and if you feel better about having some part in it, buy your own jewelry or something and then you're contributing and it makes sense. I think this way it keeps it vague and nosy people from knowing specifics.

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your comments and advice. My parents are divorced and my father remarried before he went to prison. He and my mother talk every week by phone. I don't know if he still communicates with his wife. However, my mother raised my sister and I without any financial help from my father for the last 10 years. So even though I love him, I don't feel comfortable putting him on the invites. There are just too may people who would be offended by his name being on it. I am ordering the invites this weekend and will probably go with EricaTx suggestions or "together with their families". Once I see the proof, I will know what looks best and feels right. Thanks again!!! You are all so helpful.

I'd just put your Mom's name on it, if she's paying for everything. Just because your grandmother is paying for plates, for her family and friends, doesn't sound like a whole lot of financial support. If you didn't agree to invite them, she would have paid for nothing.

Thanks, Dreamer. You make a valid point.