Soon2BSmith
Expert October 2020

Father-in-law Dying; Wedding During Covid-19

Soon2BSmith, on March 25, 2020 at 6:13 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 12
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My original wedding is in October, but my future father-in-law hasn’t been deemed to live that long, nor longer past June. We’ve just found this out recently during this COVID self-quarantine lockdown.
My FH really wants his dad to witness us jumping the broom. His father is his bestfriend, and his father was my FH’s best man before being diagnosed with this quick spreading cancer.
We’re trying to brainstorm ideas that can make this happen without endangering anyone. Parks are closed, and so are courthouses. Currently, his father is in the hospital as of now. I’m thinking, me and my FH, his father, and someone to marry us.Any ideas?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Soon2BSmith, on April 23, 2020 at 8:27 PM
  • Vanessa
    Just Said Yes August 2020
    Vanessa ·
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    What a difficult time for you and your FH this must be. But how beautiful is it that you want his father/Best Man to witness your marriage! I would suggest definitely keeping in mind how his father is feeling physically and emotionally. I imagine he is already suffering a great deal with physical and emotional pain (grief, loss, any anger, or perhaps he is making peace with everything). I cannot imagine it, but if I tried to imagine being in his shoes, I may not be up for a whole lot of company, so I think your idea of an intimate and private moment where your vows are exchanged in front of him, may be a great way to go! I would still plan for the October reception maybe..
    This is tough, but your post touched my heart! Prayers for you, your future hubby and for his father 🙏🏼🙏🏼💗
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    That’s sweet and sounds like a good idea.
    • Reply
  • W
    Super September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    I'd get married in front of him and have a little picnic type meal with him. Can he go outdoors? You can get married on the hospital lawn? Have someone take your picture and leave him a photo of you guys so he has something happy to look at.
    You're such a sweet couple!
    • Reply
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
    • Flag
    Thanks ladies. It’s truly difficult and testing, I have grown to love this man like a good friend. I want to make this happen for him, he’s brought it up to us numerous times.
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  • M
    Beginner September 2020
    Moira ·
    • Flag
    If your father in law is still in the hospital, a hospital chaplain may be able to officiate your wedding in the hospital. Sometimes there is a chapel/prayer space that might be available. Blessings to you all!
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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Unfortunately, due to the Corona virus, they aren’t allowing any visitors in. So, hopefully he will be released soon.
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  • Amanda
    Savvy July 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    Hey there, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. We know how hard a situation like this is to navigate, my FIL has stage 4 cancer- no treatments are working. We moved our date from September 2020 to July 2020 hoping the treatments would work and all would be well. Have you thought of maybe having a Facebook Group video chat while having a JP officiate the ceremony? I know its not ideal however that is our last resort if this virus doesn't calm down. If you ever need to chat don't hesitate to reach out!

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    So sorry to hear that. i think one of your family members can get ordained online and you guys can do a little make shift ceremony in your home! that would be so sweet.

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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    We live in another state, but we are definitely willing to drive to his state and do this. I think the ordained family member is a great idea.

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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry. Are you able to get a marriage license in your area if you apply online? If so would you be able to do a live stream of a private ceremony? Or is there a date by which he's likely to be released from the hospital so you could do a small ceremony or vow exchange with him there? Could a hospital chaplain perform a small ceremony at the hospital with you and your FH in a common area and your father in law behind a window or door to keep him safe while he witnesses?

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I feel for you so much. I know this is happening more than we know.

    Do you have your wedding license already? Are you able to obtain one still even though courthouses are closed? Can you visit him in the hospital still (I know many are not allowing visitors, my friend's fiance cannot even go with her to her pre-natal appointments anymore but so far is still allowed at the birth)? You may be able to wrangle up a JP or officiant to do it, or maybe ask around the hospital for ideas. I'm sure they have religious people who come in to bless people who are ill, so maybe they could do your vows for you.

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  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
    • Flag

    Thanks to everyone who comments.

    For an update, my future father-in-law passed from his fight with cancer. We were not able to successfully have a ceremony for him due to no one being allowed in the hospital. Sadly, my grandfather passed a day later from a routine surgical process.

    It has been a very difficult time for our families as a whole. I really wished they were present for our upcoming nuptials. Also, regretting having a long engagement and not having my wedding sooner.

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