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Super October 2020

Father daughter dance

Fmv, on May 21, 2019 at 9:37 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

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So my dad passed away in 2017. I asked my brother is walk me down the aisle. He said yes of course. I was originally going to ask him to do the father daughter dance with me..but now my mom is asking why i wouldnt want to do that dance with her.
Now im torn, id love to do a dance with her, but i did want to play a song and dance to it in honor of my dad....and i really dont want to have a father daughter and mother and daughter dance. That would just be to much.
I personally feel the need to have a father daughter dance with a song in my dads memory.
So what do i do? Dance to a song for my dad with my brother or mom?
On a side note, i feel if i dance with my mom to a song for my dad she will be sobbing. I think i will cry as well, but i dont want it to be a huge ordeal.
My brother is very quiet and is able to keep most of his emotions in tact.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Eamsee, on May 22, 2019 at 4:40 AM

Master August 2019
CourtneyBrittain · on May 21, 2019 at 9:46 AM
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Would it be possible to do a combination of those? Dance a little with both your mom and your brother, and explain that you want them both to be involved but that it would be difficult to do two separate dances.
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VIP June 2020
Jessica · on May 21, 2019 at 9:55 AM
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So we are doing our first dance, a mother son and an father daughter ( the norm) and we are also doing an anniversary dance because my parents anniversary is June 7th and our best friends is June 8th and we are getting married on June 6th. So we are doing the normal three dances and then the DJ will announce the anniversary song and have all married couples join in to honor them. Maybe you could do this but have it be a memorial dance and have everyone join in to honor him. This way your mom gets a dance and you can still have the dance for your dad.
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VIP July 2017
Becky · on May 21, 2019 at 11:15 AM
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Could you dance with your mom to a song your dad loved (or was special to the two of you)?
To address your side note - your mom is likely to be crying regardless of whether she's dancing with you or watching you dance with your brother. I danced with my brother (we lost my dad in 2011 and my mom did not want to dance) and my mom was bawling like a baby. On the other hand - I was bawling too - your wedding day brings all sorts of emotions to the surface, and unfortunately, if you've lost someone who "should have been there" then some of those emotions are going to be sadness. (I have yet to be able to watch a father/daughter dance at a wedding without being upset, because I "should have" been able to have that too)
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Expert June 2019
MrsJohansson · on May 21, 2019 at 12:28 PM
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Sorry for your loss, just lost mine.

Why not do both? You don't really know how it will turn out (we are stronger than we think). I like the idea of a memorial dance, having everyone dance.. maybe that will make it less of an ordeal if everyone is dancing. It's a tricky thing which only you can decide. If it were me, I wouldn't have one at all so definitely think about what you want. Talk to your mother and brother too.
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Super June 2019
Eamsee · on May 22, 2019 at 4:40 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss.
Maybe you could do something like this: My mother and father got divorced 28 years ago. The dislike, resentment, and jealousy that they have for one another rivals that of 13 year old frenemies. I'm getting married in two weeks and my mother is still trying to guilt me into having her walk me down the aisle instead of my father. Anyway, Heaven forbid that one parent gets a moment in the spotlight with me (the father/daughter dance) and not the other. So to pacify my mother (I'm sick of the whining and crying) I am having a mother/daughter dance with her. We are doing it much later in the reception though. I can't remember the exact timeline off hand, but there will be dinner in between the dances. The song she picked for our dance is "Mama's Song" by Carrie Underwood. So maybe you could have the dance with your brother and your fiancé's dance with his mother before dinner (at the common time they are usually done) and then after dinner is served.
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