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Riley
Just Said Yes September 2021

Father-daughter dance with step-father, or memorial dance for my dad?

Riley, on October 7, 2019 at 5:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
My dad passed away a few years ago, before I was even engaged, and now that I'm knee-deep in the wedding planning process, I keep getting stuck on how to handle the father-daughter dance. My step-dad and I aren't super close, but our relationship has improved greatly in the last few years and I want to make sure that he knows that I love him, so I am happy to have the F-D dance with him. At the same time, however, I can't ignore the desire to have a special dance for my dad, as well, perhaps where me, my mom, and my sisters stand up with our SOs and share that moment as a family. I wouldn't really mind doing both, but I feel like having two special dances while my fiance only has one (with his mom) is kind of unfair. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? How did you handle it? Is it acceptable to nab some extra dance-floor time to honor both my father figures separately? Everyone keeps saying that I can do whatever I want on my day, but I'm a people-pleaser - Help!

4 Comments

Latest activity by Sinéad, on October 9, 2019 at 7:48 AM
  • Da Mom
    August 2022
    Da Mom ·
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    Will you be remembering your dad in any other way, bouquet charm, piece of shirt sewn in your dress, etc? If so, then I would do the dance with your step dad. You could also have a remembrance to your dad at the rehearsal dinner with your family.

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  • Riley
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Riley ·
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    I'll likely have a chair reserved for him during the ceremony with a picture and some flowers, but I don't know that we'll be having a rehearsal dinner.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I don't really see a problem if you have two dances. My brother did at his wedding. His wife's father didn't attend the wedding and she didn't want to do a spotlight dance so my brother had the traditional mother son dance then he had a dance where he danced with me for the first half of a song and the other half he danced with my sister. No one thought it was weird or anything. It was honestly really special to get to dance with my brother on his wedding day.
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  • Sinéad
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
    Sinéad ·
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    Hey Riley! Welcome to the WeddingWire community!

    As you mentioned that people have said before, you can do whatever it is you want at your wedding! But I know that doesn’t really help when you are looking for advice.

    You said that you are considering doing a second dance with your mom and sisters in honor of your father. What about if you also asked your FH and his family to join in this dance to remember members of their family that have passed away also.

    This way you would get to have a dance to remember your father but you don’t have to worry about having two dances when your FH only has one with his mother.

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