Family/Guest list problems

Yeah, idk if I would travel if I couldn't see the ceremony.

So what youre planning is a tiered wedding and its considered very rude. everyone shoukd be invited to the ceremony and the reception. the only exception to this is if you have an immediate family (parents, siblings, and maybe grandparents) ceremony.

I don't think you will get a large crowd turn out if they are only invited to the reception.

If you truly want a private ceremony, you need to make it actually private. Which means FH's entire family doesn't come: just your parents, his parents, maybe siblings if you want, and your bridal party. Otherwise, yeah, your family will probably be miffed, and understandably so.

Sounds like you've already invited his family: I really think you need to invite yours to the ceremony as well, or risk many not coming (and possibly some hurt feelings if they find out FH's family was invited for no other reason than geography).

I think you should still invite your family to the reception, but don't have it as a traditional, after the wedding reception, but more of a party to celebrate (maybe even several days afterwards).

And what Susan said, this is only a good idea if your ceremony is immediate family only.

How many people where you planning on inviting to the ceremony? Is it just immediate family?

Our ceremony will only be immediate family our parents and grandparents. And the. The rest of the family is invited to the party/reception celebration. What I'm saying is if I invite most of my family which live in Florida. I feel bad to make them sit out the ceremony since they traveled so far to be there for the day.

No it has nothing to do with cost it's an outdoor wedding so there would be plenty of room. But we don't like being in front of big groups of people and we decided very early on we didn't want a lot of people at the ceremony

It's all or nothing. You don't get to invite your family to some things and his family to other things. If you have a lot of OOT guests, you should invite everyone to the ceremony. Is there a reason for a small ceremony?

So I don't think what you're doing is a tiered reception - you're having immediate family only for the ceremony. But yea, if I were one of your guests living far away, I probably wouldn't come.

What's the reason for the immediately family only ceremony?

We just wanted it to be more small and intimate.

Having an intimate ceremony and a big reception is NOT rude. It's what I did the first time around - parents, siblings, grandparents at the ceremony and a big reception.

Have the small family, but don't invite his entire family to it. Invite everyone to the reception but I would call it something else. Maybe label the invitations " Your invited to celebrate our marriage"

something like that. If your family doesn't want to make the trip then they don't have to go. simple as that

My cousin did this at a golf country club. She got married in a private room with their parents/grandparents and bridal party. Then everyone else was invited to the reception afterward. I know some aunts and uncles were pretty mad, but I didn't really care! It was still fun to celebrate with them however I think most people were local (hour or so away at most)

On the invitations its an I Do BBQ cebrating our marriage. I put on it "we will be saying i do but we will be missing you so we hope to see you at our bbq."

I don't think it's a big deal, it sounds like you just want a private ceremony which is perfectly acceptable. I think you just have to weigh your wants with pleasing your guests, I'd either suck it up and be okay with making your choice, or invite them if you're really that worried. I don't think you're being a bad person by not inviting them to ceremony and I don't think it's rude in this case, but I would maybe see how many OOT guests there are, if its 10 ppl I would probably just stick with original plan, if its 50 ppl then just invite everyone on your reception list to ceremony

It a cute way of letting them know we will be having a small ceremony with out them but they are invited to the reception/party. We hope to see them there.

I do Agree with Kate, they don't need to know what they missed, just say "you're invited to celebrate our marriage!" the rhyme is cute, but I think it's better to just not mention it and people will assume you got married in a courthouse or had a private ceremony, which is very common and well-accepted.

I wouldn't go to a wedding if I wasn't invited to the ceremony

well the invites are already made. So hopfully they understand it was coming from a good place

Most people only go to a wedding for the party anyways. "Free alcohol and food" seems to be all everyone talks about on here. I know some people may be upset but its not like we talk to any of them every day. Those we feel like should be at the ceremony will be. Others will get to be at the party/reception to celebrate. If they would like. If not that's not a big deal either. I won't be offended if they decide not to come.