Family you hate

Once you have invited them, you can't really uninvite them. Sounds like a crappy situation though.

I thought inviting them would be a “sign of piece”’and maybe open up the relationships with them ... I’ve never had any events to invite them to before so it’s not like I wasn’t inviting them and they were not inviting me

I think you should leave it the way it is, invite them. During the wedding then they will see what they missed out on and what a cool person you are. Perhaps they will later try and reach out to you or try to invite you and if they don't that's cool as well. Live your life next to husband happy. You did your part and can sleep well at night, don't uninvited them and scoop to their level.

Sadly it's too late to rescind the invitations. Who knows, maybe they'll come and it will be the start of a new relationship with them. If they don't come, then you're right where you had hoped to be in the first place.

They are already invited so there’s not a whole lot you can do, other than uninvited them which seems like more drama than what you would have started with. I understand that you don’t want your dad to be “punished” by his family but they haven’t socialized with you in ten years so how upset would they really be? I wouldn’t have invited them in the first place, whether my mom told me to or not. It’s your wedding and your guest list. If you don’t get along with them, then they shouldn’t have been on the guest list to begin with

I can see how you might feel weird about univiting them. But in the end it is your weddong day. It's not about them or your dad, it's about you and your soon to be husband celebrating the love in your life. If you don't want them there tell them you had a change in heart and would no longer like them to share the joy with you. Or you can use this opportunity to say atleast you tried (I'm betting they don't show anyways) then you can move on with your life and not look back. Good luck. And hope your day is amazing

They will show. They love any time they can judgements and talk crap (last weding my aunts bf talked about my aunt to her face and my uncle dragged the bf outside and got into a fist fight )

I’m in the same boat...I’m not close to anyone on my dads side but yet I’m going to invite them so that there isn’t drama...
havent sent out invitations yet but I’m not liking it already 😕

View Quoted Comment Lol I’m so scared this will be my wedding. Except the sh*t talking will be to me and I’ll be the one dragging people out of the wedding

View Quoted Comment I know it’s not etiquette but I did not give my Aunt a plus one.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha I wouldn’t have either!

Well you’re being the bigger person here so take solace in that! They sound immature and rude. You tried to do the nice thing by inviting them, now they can choose to keep being jerks so not, but I’d probably write them off after the wedding is over.

It's to late now, but in the future don't include them. My dads extended family is awful. Some of them verbally assaulted my grandmother at her sister's funeral and attempted to force their way into her home to take what they wanted and felt what they were owed of her sisters things. Had my dad stepped in they probably would have. My grandmother being the kind heart she is asked me if I intended to invite the extended side to my wedding, I told her no. Being the bigger person can be great but some people don't deserve it and that's okay, I won't be hurt offending these people they're awful and my day will be way more enjoyable with out them. That being said do you think they'll even come? If they don't invite you to things would they go out of their way to come to something you host?

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Yeah they are like that. they always like things to talk about. i mentioned an earlier comment some examples. I am hoping maybe for the bridal shower they will be busy since they picked to have it memorial day weekend.

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If they show please let them know that 1) you are happy they came (even if are a little bummed!) and 2) this is not the place for Family Therapy or Reconciliation or Let's Rehash the Past. It is a wedding - make a dinner date for later to rehash stuff if that is what everyone wants. If anyone tries to start with the smack talk.....ask them to leave. You don't need that tone at a wedding.

It is very passive aggressive when folks want to take an event and turn it into something else! On your dime!!!! Best wishes!

Thanks, they even had the nerve to request who they don’t want to sit with by my DAD and my dad got phone calls asking if they were invited.... no one has reached out to me at all about their requests

I can relate. My dad's side of the family treats us terribly. I know I have to invite them. The worst thing they can do is show up. But, I will not let them ruin our day!

View Quoted Comment Yes totally agree!!

OP- I’m in a similar boat. I was guilted into sending Invites to extended family that I haven’t seen in years and never invite me to things... I’ve been feeling very embarrassed about it lately BUT I just got invited to a cousins 50th anniversary dinner so maybe it’s a positive thing afterall. (There is a big part of me hoping most will decline though)

I can empathize SO deeply to this.

For the sake of this being the internet and not knowing who has a WW account.

On one side of my family i am THE black sheep. Long story short I don't go to church, my dad is much older than my mom, and I lived in a different state half my life but we're all close in age so they are friends and exclude me (i'm talking they physically stop talking when I walk into a room and huddle in another room to talk). I have never physically done anything to any of them but theres a huge wedge between us, often leaving me excluded.

I've been engaged since 2016 (my fiancé and I will have been together for 6 years this december) and have had my wedding date picked out since 2 months after I got engaged. The big blow up in my family, is that not only am I excluded, but my cousin, who is a little less than a year older than me, and has been with her SO for a shorter amount of time got engaged the year after I did. The kicker? she set her wedding date to be a day that is 3 weeks before mine, AFTER knowing what my date was. that means that her shower is before mine AND that our family has a short time span to buy gifts for two weddings and has to travel/lodge for two weddings. Needless to say, when I found out what they had done, I felt backstabbed and did not want to invite them at all. My mom feels that we have to and is quite frankly making me invite them, even though since they have been rude to the both of us.

At this point, this is my feeling on the matter- I have to invite you, if you don't want to come by all means, please don't show up. It's going to be MY day, MY happiness, and I've spent a lot of time going to make this day perfect.

Don't let anyone ruin your special day-even family. "sometimes people don't like you, because of the way other people love you"

I hope this made you feel like you're not alone