Family with special needs

I don’t know if he’s too old to be a rig bearer, ours is 11. But! That’s up to you. Is it necessary that he is a part of the wedding? If not, just let him sit and enjoy watching it. If it is necessary, maybe do something small, like have him escort just one or two people down such as your grandmother or mom. That way, he’s involved but not overly involved.

I agree with PP I don't think there's too old or young to be a ring bearer. You see people do flower grandmas instead of flower girls and it can be so adorable ahah.

Could you maybe have him be a greeter/handing out programs to people as they walk in? You can even list him on the program to treat it as a more official role. I’ve been to a wedding where they had a brother with special needs doing that and it was a really nice way to include him in the ceremony. And in that role he’s supposed to be talking to greet people so maybe that would help with the anxiety.

You could have him be greeter and have him remind people to sign the guest book if you think he needs a more interactive role, that'd require talking and attention he seems to enjoy. I don't think he's too old for ring bearer of you think that's a good fit.

If your having a guest book he can help with that. Or hand our programs.

How about a junior groomsmen?

I agree with all other comments

JR groomsman. I think anything 10 and up should be JR bridesmaid and JR groomsman but that is just me.

Does he have to be involved? It sounds like he might be more uncomfortable than anything with the options presented. It's ok to be an honored guest. You could get him a boutonniere like the groomsmen and just have him sit in the front row with your immediate family...it seems a little more in line with his social anxiety, but still an honor.