Out of the blue, my future Mother in Law asserted that we can't have any flowers or scented candles at our wedding.
We got engaged 4 months ago. We're getting married in 6 months. We literally had an appointment with a florist right after we met. My parents are paying for our wedding, but with a fairly limited budget, and I'm planning everything at a DIY venue. I haven't really gotten any planning support from my future in laws (who live in town) or from my parents (who live out of town but suggested we have it here). We've been engaged for 3 months, and this is the first time I've seen the in-laws. My future mother in law has been to other weddings, and to church...both of which do have flowers... She has been demanding and then MIA in terms of helping make her requests happen in a couple other areas too. (Frankly, my parents have been a bit like that too...but at least they've helped with some planning stuff and are financially contributing).
Am I reasonable to just want to give up planning this stupid reception, elope, and if the in-laws or my parents or my future husband want a party, they can plan it themselves? How do you deal with straight-up/matter-of-fact demands from people who aren't actually helping make things happen? How do you deal with difficult family members in general/establish boundaries to protect yourself from feeling like you are planning a party alone to meet the needs of literally everyone but yourself? What is a reasonable amount of say to give to people who aren't really helping make it happen in any way?
