Zoe O.
Devoted November 2019

Family pto Issues

Zoe O., on September 9, 2019 at 3:54 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19
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Warning: Minor rant ahead

Today I got some of the most upsetting news I've had to deal with throughout my entire wedding planning process. My brother's employer is refusing to allow him to take PTO for my wedding day, even though he submitted the request at the earliest date they allow. They won't even allow him to come in a few hours late or make any alterations to his normal shift. He's offered to work overtime the night before and/or work late the day of, if they will allow him to start his shift 2-3 hours later so that he can at least be at the ceremony. He does not work a job that depends upon him and only him. There are multiple employees in the same position on the same shift that could easily cover his absence for a few hours. Furthermore, he has been with this company over 10 years and has always covered additional shifts and been flexible when necessary. So it's pretty frustrating to our whole family that they are not giving him any grace in the matter. At this point, he's trying to reach out to everyone in his same position on different shifts to see if they will trade with him, but even this will be at the discretion of management approval. This is very upsetting to me because he is my only sibling and he is supposed to give me away because my father is not in my life. At this point, there's not really much we can do but it's so frustrating I just need to let it all out.

19 Comments

  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your brother! He deserves that time off. I hope his employer has a change of heart!

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag

    That is frustrating. Is it possible for him to call in and take a sick day?

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  • Zoe O.
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe O. ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Unfortunately, his company puts every PTO request into a system and keeps track of even the declined requests. So if he were to call in, the system could match his call in to a declined PTO request and flag him for disciplinary action.
    • Reply
  • Devin
    Super October 2019
    Devin ·
    • Flag
    What about unpaid time off?
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  • Zoe O.
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe O. ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I don’t think that will fly either, as their citing staffing concerns as the reason for denial.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Sarantos
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. Sarantos ·
    • Flag
    So it sounds like he can beg for a day without pay or quit
    • Reply
  • Zoe O.
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe O. ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    That’s pretty much where we are, which is why I feel that there is very little to be done at this point.
    • Reply
  • K
    Expert September 2020
    Ka-Rina ·
    • Flag
    Sounds like he needs another job. If you don't mind what does he do??? It's Draconian
    • Reply
  • M
    Super September 2019
    Mrs. Bubba ·
    • Flag
    It sounds like he needs a new job.

    That is completely awful.

    Congratulations and 🍀‼️
    • Reply
  • Jayne
    Savvy June 2022
    Jayne ·
    • Flag

    So, what company is this? Maybe a general call-out on the internet by the public (meaning us strangers) about their policies concerning leave time in general would embarrass them enough to review their practices. I'm not a big "cause" person but this is one that would be worth my support.

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  • H
    Devoted November 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    He should call in sick and hope for the best. I know better than most how difficult it is to find quality skilled labor. Actually it's hard to find unskilled labor who will show up for work. He might get a first warning unless they let it go. Just have him avoid a situation that can be interpreted as insubordination such as saying I'm not working that day. He could also try escalating to higher level mgmt or HR to find a solution. Sometimes mid-mgmt will just follow policy and not take care of their people. Big mistake on their part. He should consider other employers but be careful about changing jobs right before the wedding and not having PTO time to start. I hope he can work it out.
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  • Zoe O.
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe O. ·
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    He is upper level security in an entertainment complex. But, like I said, there are multiple folks in the same position on each shift. Besides, if he only attended the ceremony, he'd be at work before 5:00pm and, thus, before the busy time of the day.

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  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    NOT a good idea at all! At best it'll mark him as a pot stirrer, at worst could get him fired.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    Wow, this sounds like a terrible company. I would just not show up and see what happens or find a new job.

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  • Zoe O.
    Devoted November 2019
    Zoe O. ·
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    That’s not really an option for him. He is a single dad. So I think the job security and decent pay is one of the things keeping him around.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
    • Flag

    I am so so sorry you're having to deal with this. I cannot even imagine how this must make you feel. I know this is pretty taboo, and I'd hate for you to potentially get your brother in trouble, but could you call his company and explain the situation? Maybe they'll be more sympathetic hearing it from you and how your brother is supposed to be giving you away. I know that's not the best advice, but if they're unwilling to hear your brother out, maybe you calling will help change their mind.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Dedicated October 2019
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    Has he reached out to any upper management and explained that it's for your wedding? I would have him re-submit the PTO or try to get in contact with a higher level of authority. If there are others who can cover him, this shouldn't be an issue. Especially if he is using Paid time off, he has earned those hours. We have the PTO system at my work along with PPTO (where we won't be pointed for absences).

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    Unfortunately , lots of places only recognize your own wedding as a must for time off. I never worked for a hospital that treated family weddings any differently from your dog's birthday or opening day of baseball season. They give days off according to coverage, not the reason you want it off, except your own wedding or surgery, or the actual day of death or funeral, for one of your immediate family. Stinks , but it is routinely that way and has been the 16 years I have worked.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Devoted October 2020
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    That is very unfortunate! I can only imagine how stressed you are over this. Hopefully he’s able to work it out. Best of luck to you!
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