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Just Said Yes October 2019

Family members who don't agree with gay wedding

Andrew, on July 17, 2019 at 7:57 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

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I come from a very religious family. I have always been extremely close with them until I came out. Since then, things have changed with some family members. I've already decided that I'm not inviting the aunts/uncles/ cousins who I know don't agree or wouldn't attend. I'm pretty sure my grandmother would attend; my main concern is my grandfather. My worry is that if he decides to attend, he'll cause a scene and preach at us, which I do not want. I'm torn as to what to do. Would you invite only the grandmother and not the grandfather (They're still married)? Or would you invite both but include a note asking those who don't agree to simply not attend? If so, how can I politely word it? I sincerely appreciate polite advice! Thank you for taking the time to help me out

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Kelsey, on July 17, 2019 at 10:23 PM

VIP September 2019
Melissa · on July 17, 2019 at 8:03 PM
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I would speak with your grandmother and see what her thoughts are. Let her know you would love them both there, but don’t want your grandfather to make a scene. Hopefully he will come around and see that your happiness is all that matters, and he can keep his thoughts to himself. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Hope it turns out for the best!
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VIP October 2019
Jessica · on July 17, 2019 at 8:28 PM
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I'm sorry you have to deal with this! I agree with PP.. Could you talk to your grandmother and let her know your concerns? Wishing you the best of luck for a drama free day ♥️
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 17, 2019 at 8:38 PM
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I'm really sorry, it's dissapointing your family chooses not to love you. But that being said it sounds like you should talk to your grandmother. She'd probably be best at deciding what to do.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 17, 2019 at 8:40 PM
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Those who don’t agree, won’t attend. There’s no need to put it in the invitation. I would invite your grandfather and give him the opportunity to attend and make things right. If he gets really ballsy and tries to start drama at your wedding, have someone ask him to leave.
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Just Said Yes November 2021
Danielle · on July 17, 2019 at 8:53 PM
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My mom's side of the family is very religious as well. I've been with my fiancee for almost two years and came out only months before I met her. My family didn't find out until almost a year into our relationship. My grandfather has been nice to us both but he does not approve. He told my mom he would not attend, even went as far as telling her she and my dad should not attend. One of my aunt's is also not conferrable but has been friendly. I'm going to invite them all and if they choose to not attend that is fine. I agree with Caytlyn, I would offer the invitation and your grandfather can choose to not attend if he feels that strongly.
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VIP June 2019
MIWM · on July 17, 2019 at 9:12 PM
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I would speak with them in private about this matter.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 17, 2019 at 9:18 PM
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Definitely have a heart-to-heart with your grandmother (and maybe even your grandfather). As PPs said, if your grandfather wants to reconcile, he'll make it happen by attending your wedding!
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Expert November 2019
Keri · on July 17, 2019 at 9:35 PM
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Agreed. Very unfortunate for those that who don't agree. They have the choice not to attend.
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Savvy August 2019
Kelsey · on July 17, 2019 at 10:23 PM
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This makes my heart hurt for you. I’m so sorry that you are in this position. Can you talk to your parents about it? If they have a better relationship with your grandparents, maybe they could bring it up and see how they feel about the wedding.
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