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Laura
VIP November 2019

Family member passing close to wedding date

Laura, on June 21, 2019 at 12:58 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4
So, my mother’s husband and I are not what you’d call close. Basically I tolerate him for the sake of my mom. We don’t see them often as they live a couple hours away.
Anyway, the point is, he was diagnosed with an aggressive lung cancer that has mestastacized (or however you spell it) to his brain. He was given “4 week to 4 months” to live when he was discharged from the hospital. He’s home now with hospice care.
My wedding is in 4 1/2 months. I’m concerned that he may pass right before the wedding or be alive but in terrible condition. How do I handle this? My mom & him have had their problems but on some level she will be sad and miss him or worry about him. How do I make it ok for her to enjoy my wedding?

4 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on June 21, 2019 at 5:07 PM
  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    This isnt something you can be in charge of. This is on her. She is going to have to give herself permission to enjoy the day. She's just going to want to see you happy.
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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    To be blunt it's going to be ugly for your mom if she's at home with him. We lost my father to brain cancer 4 years ago. He was a hard man to deal with in general. I hope there are many helping hands for her.
    She will do her best to enjoy your wedding regardless I'm sure. I'm sorry for you there will be mixed emotions wrapped up in it on your joyous day. I know you want mom to be her best self that day. Any kindness you can give her or him along this sad path through words or visits can go a long way. He won't be him very long. I'm so very so sorry for your family.
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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    Thank you...
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  • Laura
    VIP November 2019
    Laura ·
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    She has hospice but no family to rely on. His brother is a flake, his son is pretending it isn’t happening, and his daughter...I dunno what her deal is. And I’m 2+ hours away. She’ll survive, she always does. But we only recently repaired our relationship and I hate that she’s likely to be miserable on my wedding day.
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