Family member catering

Has she ever cooked for large groups before? Timing? Will it be hot? Does she not mind working on your wedding day?

Be aware that anyone cooking/serving will not be able to enjoy/watch the wedding. Also unless your wedding is in your backyard, nearly all venues including parks require a licensed caterer, not a family member.

View Quoted Comment She has cooked for parties but never cooked for something like this. It will be hot since it’ll be on a chafing dish and it’s gonna be buffet style anyway. She’ll have a few friends keep an eye on the food.

Hire a professional caterer. Order pizzas. Get drop off catering. Get Costco platters. The mother of the bride should not have to work the wedding. Also, home cooked food might not be permitted by your venue for liability reasons.


Also, buffet style might still be prohibited by July because of covid.

I would triple check that this is ok with your venue.

Also, this means your mom won't be able to help you get ready, and she'll be distracted the week of the wedding.

I would recommend a caterer.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have her do it. She’s not going to be able to enjoy all the details of the wedding with you.

I wouldn't have her do it. She is the mother of the bride and should be enjoying her time at your wedding, not working it.

Most caterers are prepping and setting up during the ceremony, so that food is ready for the cocktail hour/reception. In that case, your mom and her friends might miss the ceremony. Also, I doubt that she’s going to wear her wedding attire while transporting the food. So she’ll need time to change and get ready for the wedding too. Personally, I don’t feel that weddings are the time for non-professionals to experiment with their skills. Plus, guests should be able to relax and enjoy the day without being put to work (especially your parents). So, I’d always and only hire a professional vendor for all areas. Anyone trying to split their time and play the role of both vendor and guest means that they won’t be able to give 100% of their quality, focus and time into being either one of those roles.


Is your wedding at someone’s home? If not, I’m surprised that your venue is allowing an unlicensed/uninsured catering to cook.

I've got to agree with others. No matter how much your mother might insist that she do this, and how much she wants to, you shouldn't allow her to do it for all the reasons the others said.

At one of the venues I worked at we allowed people to do this type of thing, and it was a disaster every time. Your mom deserves to relax and enjoy your day just as much as you do, so do whatever you can to back her off of this. If she really insists, allow her to do something for the appetizers, or something very small, but no more than that. And nothing that she should have to be working over an oven or stove the day of, something that someone else could pop into the oven and easily transport.

When friends and family are involved, eventually they will lose focus and talk to someone at the wedding and forget what they were doing. Before you know it you have 20 guests waiting for food, no one manning the line, and no one knowing what's going on. It's a recipe for disaster that you really don't want that day.

I wouldn't recommend having your mom work at your wedding. Don't you want your mom to be available to help you get ready, help you get into your dress, etc. the stuff that moms normally do? I would hire professional caterers so that your mom can enjoy her daughter's wedding.

Even if your venue is a rare one that allows this, and your mom has lots of friends who want to help, and your mom swears she doesn't mind being both the MOB AND the primary CATERER for your wedding, I wouldn't do this. In the least, as described in PPs there are lots of small things that can go wrong, like the food not being consistently good, or the right temperature, or not the right quantities and people are left hungry, and there is always the chance that something devastatingly bad can happen, like an allergic reaction because food ingredients weren't properly managed or accidental food poisoning occurs because food wasn't prepared/transported/stored/served according to food handling regulations. That could leave you and FH financially liable for medical bills, etc. Your friends and family wouldn't necessarily be the ones to sue you (of course they wouldn't do that...), but their health insurance and/or medical providers/facilities can & will sue to recoup the cost of treatment, etc. There are so many big and small reasons not to do this...maybe that's why you feel anxious about the decision.... List to your gut and find a licensed caterer. Good luck!

I love diy and am usually all for it, but not in this case. Catering is such a big task and takes so much time. And food safety is massively important!!! Your mother would probably have to miss the ceremony to be able to cater your reception, which would really suck. Plus, it can be super difficult to keep food at safe temperatures during transport without overcooking it. If she were a full time caterer with staff that could manage it while she enjoyed the ceremony, absolutely, yes! But to do it mostly on her own and her first time catering a wedding, ohhhh nooo!


We thought we were gonna try to do our own catering with help from family, but didn't want anyone to miss out on the festivities and I didn't want to risk anyone getting sick. If you are having 30 guests, yes, maybe your mom could cook. But any more than that and you really need an experienced caterer. Ask your venue if they have any recommendations based off people they have worked with in the past. We have been able to find catering for 100 guests with servers for the buffet within our $1800 budget. It will be well worth it!

Maybe your mom could make the Lumpia for the cocktail hour or for appetizers? That seems far more manageable.

Fellow Filipina here!

While it's super nice that your mom and her friends are offering to cook the food for your wedding, I would suggest finding a Filipino caterer near you that could take over! She's the mother of the bride, and although it's nice that she's wanting to do this for you, she deserves to relax on you wedding day as well!

I understand where you're coming from, my mom really wants family friends to cater our wedding (they own a restaurant and have experience!), but our venue doesn't allow places to cater if they don't have a catering license. For that reason, we had to find someone with a catering license to do it. If your mom still insists that she wants to be in charge of the food, I'd make sure your venue doesn't have that rule either.

If she won't listen and wants to still do the food (Filipino moms can be stubborn lol), then is there a way she can just make the lumpia the day before and have whoever is going to help her take over the day-of? That way she still gets to oversee the food, but on the day-of she gets to relax and not worry?

View Quoted Comment Maraming salamat, Shelly! I really appreciate this!

View Quoted Comment

Walang anuman, Dyan! Anything to help! Our culture is all about pitching in and helping, so I totally get why you're mom wants to lend a hand with the food!

Can your mom make this dish for your rehearsal dinner instead? Not sure what kind of venue you've chosen, but you will likely need a licensed caterer, even for buffet style, unless you're having a backyard wedding. If this is something that she and her friends really want to do, then I'd suggest having her make this for your rehearsal dinner instead

View Quoted Comment All of these.

It’s definitely a lot of work. One she won’t know until she is in the midst of it. I’d suggest a caterer but if you choose to go this route Make sure she gets some kind of liability insurance that will protect her in case something like food poisoning were to happen.

This is my opinion let your mom enjoy your wedding. hire someone to do the cooking due to saftey and health protcols as well as we wouldn't want anyone to get sick not saying they would but here's a scinerio. someone is eating peanuts next to your moms food. and peanut dust gets into her cooking maybe one of your guests is allergic to peanuts and they get sick to where they have to go to the hospital your mom could be legally responsible for their bills. I don't think it's a chance I would take if I were you, maybe she can cook for the rehearsal dinner,