Family Matters

My family LOVES my FH, and he loves them as well! I think it'd be hard to marry someone that my family didn't love (or if FH didn't like my family). I'm very close to my family, and we have family gatherings rather frequently so it'd be hard if they didn't want him there or if he didn't want to come. I've dated people in the past that my family didn't love, and that was hard because I wanted them to like my boyfriends.... clearly mama knew best because those guys definitely weren't right for me!! FH and I are blessed that we both come from super loving families that we're very close with!!

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I agree that it would be difficult to be with someone that your family doesn't like, but, would you do it?

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I don't think so! I trust my family's judgment, and they've been right about all the guys I've been with in the past that weren't good for me. FH is 1000 times better than any of the other guys, and my family loved him from the first day they met him.

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Thank you for clarifying. It's always nice when everyone gets along.

My family loves my husband. But I've seen times when my parents hated who my brother was dating and it definitely caused a lot of arguments so I am glad that that didn't happen to me.

My family loves my FW, but I would marry her even if they didn’t. If they had valid reasons to dislike her, of course I would take those into consideration, but my family is mature enough to not make my life a living hell just because they don’t like my partner. You can dislike someone and still interact with them civilly. At the end of the day, I’m the one marrying her and I need to take my own happiness into consideration before anyone else’s.

I like to say that you marry into the family dynamics. My husband's family means the world to me - as does their opinion. Marrying him was about marrying into an entire community. My own family and I struggle to really see eye to eye. I wouldn't want their to be open hostility (who would), but as their opinion of me is middling, if they didn't really care for hubby it would just be par for the course.

My family's opinion matters a good bit to me. My FH is the first SO they've actually liked, which is just another reason I knew he was the one. Knowing my FH now, it would be impossible for my family to not like him, but if they didn't, I would definitely be more hesitant.

My parents like my FH which is great and definitely important to me. They've never disliked any previous SOs so I've never had to consider if I'd want to marry someone they didn't like. It would depend on why they didn't like him probably.
My FH has 4 siblings and his whole family is fairly close so I knew his family liking me and me fitting into/liking his family was really important for him. And luckily I love his visiting his family and they like me and I get along with his family, especially his mom and sister especially.
The flip side of this was also important for me in that I wanted to like his family and wanted him to like mine and luckily that worked out well too!

It would depend on why they didn't like my SO. My Dad once hated a boyfriend I had because of all his tattoos, there were pleanty of reasons besides the tattoos to dislike the guy but that was the thing dad hates most. 🤦
My mother loved one of my ex's because he bought her gifts. She's insists it's because he was polite but I know it's because he bought her stuff, he wax polite but not *that* polite.
So sure their opinion matters but if their opinion was based off something superficial then I would probably still marry someone anyway.
They both love my fiance but admit he's disorganized. So I figure that's a pretty good opinion in comparison to the ex's. 😆

I would because I don't value my family's opinion over my own. I am confident in my decision-making abilities and while I listen to other's opinions, at the end of the day, I'm okay with my choices.

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Does that mean you wouldn't marry your husband if your family didn't like him?

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Amen to that!

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I agree that when you marry someone you become part of their family.

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I would also be hesitant and want to have an open discussion about why there is dislike.

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My final decision would also depend on why my family didn't like my partner and if the problem could be resolved.

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I find that in a lot of cases parents don't like their children's partners for superficial reasons. If my parents concern was serious I would consider it.

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I love the way you worded this.

View Quoted Comment I agree. If they brought up something serious I'd listen. But superficial isn't something I'll worry about

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I prefer family dynamics to becoming a part of their family. I know it's splitting hairs, but an estranged family and a close one are incredibly different. I keep my family at arms length - whereas he is really close to his. So he has a rather emotionally distant relationship with my parents, but I'm super close to his. For a no-contact family, you're marrying into that no-contact agreement.