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Devoted September 2021

Family issues

Brandi, on July 7, 2019 at 5:32 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11

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Okay so I have a major problem and I really need your advice.
Some of My future inlaws family are very traditional and do not approve of the age difference of me and my Fiance,him being younger than I am by 13 yrs. However our love for each other could not be greater. His uncle does not approve of me and will not speak English in front of me,only Spanish. Today while I was sitting on the sofa he boldly spoke of.me and my fiance to my future mother in law and her mother saying how me and the elders in the family by tradition do not approve of our marriage and that they will not attend any functions if My fiance and I stay together. He kept saying let me introduce my FH to another woman of proper age and see if he likes her more.
I was literally fighting back tears!
How do I help this man understand that my love for.my FH is true to heart and I love him more than my own life?

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Kiley, on July 8, 2019 at 11:10 AM

VIP April 2019
Nikita · on July 7, 2019 at 5:57 PM
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I am so sorry you're going through this, and I hope your future family will come to respect you and your marriage. When you marry, you marry into the family dynamics... and that's a horrid situation to start a family together on.
Unfortunately, you cannot get him there on your own. You cannot change his point of view or control his behavior. Instead, you really need to have your fiance take point. He needs to be the one to really stand up for you and your relationship.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 7, 2019 at 6:08 PM
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You don’t. Your FH should be standing up for you and your relationship.
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VIP September 2019
Melissa · on July 7, 2019 at 6:15 PM
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This is an awful situation, I’m so sorry you are having to deal with it. What does FH have to say on the matter? Has the family brought it up to him? He should be standing up for you to them. If he isn’t, I’d be rethinking some things about the relationship.
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Devoted July 2020
Stacey · on July 7, 2019 at 6:27 PM
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I’m not sure how you held it together. I think my emotions would have came out. So I applaud you for keeping it together. This is a horrible situation to be in and agree with PP that FH needs to be the one to stand up for you and your relationship.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 7, 2019 at 6:48 PM
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Your fiance needs to tell them off and say he won't speak to them again until they accept you.
You can't change his family, he needs to handle this on his own. If fiance won't or can't handle it then run.
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Devoted September 2021
Brandi · on July 7, 2019 at 6:50 PM
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Thank you ladies. Yes my FH has stood up and so has my future father in law. They are wonderful people and love me as their own. And I love them also. They see Juan and I are beyond happy and love each other.
I suppose I needed to vent and just ask for advice on the matter. Again ladies thank you for your kindness.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 7, 2019 at 9:17 PM
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I'm so glad your FH and FFIL have defended and stood up for you! You deserve it!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on July 7, 2019 at 9:19 PM
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You can’t force anyone to accept/love you. Your FH needs to continue to set those boundaries and hope his uncle (and any other family members) will accept this marriage at some point. If not, it’s their loss. They cannot host events (holidays, etc) and invite your hubby but not you.

Big hugs because this suuucks. 😢
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Super December 2021
Casey · on July 8, 2019 at 12:44 AM
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This exactly. Unfortunately, we can't force people to like/love anyone. As long as your FH sticks up for you, that's what matters!
I hope with time they will see you two are happy and in love and will change their tune!
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Super April 2020
Anna · on July 8, 2019 at 3:32 AM
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My mom happens to be ten years younger than my stepdad. My mom confessed to me a few years ago that my stepdad dad did not agree with him being with her. He said she was too old. But he ended up falling in love with her. I think its something their going to have to get used to. They dont have to like you but they do have to respect you. I'm older than my fh and I still worry people will say I'm too old for him. But I'm glad he defended you and time will go by. They will learn to love you. Since you two are married, theyll have no choice but to accept you.
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Expert November 2019
Kiley · on July 8, 2019 at 11:10 AM
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I definitely think this is where your FH needs to stand up to his family and defend you. In the end, they are ALL adults, so if they choose to not come to family functions after you get married, then that is their choice.
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