Family issues

For your mom - I’m sure she’s actually happy for you though but jaded by her own personal experiences about marriage over all

You should call your dad and tell him that unfortunately you have a very limited guest list and that you and your fiance will be in charge of who to invite and that he will need to contact his friends and let them know that I'm fortunately they cannot attend the wedding due to budget and size purposes. Your future mother-in-law and exactly which way is she overbearing? Sometimes I see on here and it seems like mothers are just very excited for the wedding that they sometimes don't realize they are overstepping boundaries so maybe just let her know that you appreciate all of her help but that you and your fiance have a plan for the wedding that you would like to stick to. I think you and your mom should cool off for a bit but definitely make peace sometime soon. I would show cast sit down with your mom and tell her that you understand why she has her view on divorce and marriage but at the same time this is your wedding day you hope that it's going to be forever and that right now you don't need negativity but kind words. I would let her know how hurtful it was to bring her to try on wedding dresses and for her to be so negative during the whole time. I'm not sure if she doesn't care but maybe she doesn't realize how that's really impacting you.

View Quoted Comment The hard part about my mom is that she doesn’t think anything she does is wrong. She’s been telling me all men cheat since I was like 12. So when we got engaged she said “enjoy getting cheated on and being miserable forever” but when you confront her, she denies everything. Not to get too deep but she’s caused a lot of emotional damage for me. My MIL tends to be overbearing but I don’t want to hurt her feelings because it is nice to have someone’s mom excited for our wedding. If that makes any sense.

View Quoted Comment She’s just never been a very nice lady and I always put up with her because I didn’t know any better. But this whole experience has definitely opened my eyes to how damaging she’s been my whole life. Sorry, not to dump all my emotional damage on you!

I'm sorry to hear you guys are going through so much about your big day! Sometimes it's hard for people with a rough history to understand that not every marriage is doomed to fail. When you're feeling discouraged, just look at all the happy married couples on this site alone!

I agree with Kristen, that you'll have to tell your dad about your invite restrictions. It won't be a fun conversation, but you will be glad you did when your wedding day comes and you were able to save those seats for people you wanted to invite.

For your overbearing FMIL, just try to see her overbearing-ness as excitement for the wedding. Often times, people get all up in our grills about things because they care about us and want us to have what they think would be the perfect day. You definitely don't have to go with all her ideas or agree with everything she puts in front of you.

Try to find some time to breathe, and just think about you and your FH and the life you guys want to begin together. Dramas and stresses and pressures can really cloud the joy and excitement of a wedding, and frustratingly enough, when it comes to it, we can't control what people do or don't do. BUT you can still be excited and joyous about what you and your FH are doing and what it means. Don't think so hard that you forget you're in love. You're in love! Woo hoo!

Not trying to downplay your experience in the slightest, of course. I'm totally hear if you want someone to rant to. And all of us fellow bride-to-be's are on your team when it comes to shouldering through and having one of the best days of your life!

View Quoted Comment Then I understand what you're saying so maybe for your mother-in-law do you just let her be a little bit overbearing but put your foot down when you need to. As long as you still have full control over your wedding day that's what matters. Santa seems that you have some issues with your mother maybe you need to just distance yourself away from her for a while but hope that she could still show up the day of the wedding in full support. Planning a wedding should be a very happy time and you don't need negativity from anyone.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for all your support ❤️

View Quoted Comment Oh sure. Good luck and hope things work out.

I would first try expressing your feelings and setting boundaries with all of them. If they don’t change their tune though, I would elope/honeymoon somewhere amazing! Wedding planning is stressful enough. If we had drama-filled families or friends, we woulda said “Nope” and enjoyed our dream elopement. 😁

Stop planning with all of them. The more you and FH keep non essential info to yourselves, the less they'll overbear!

View Quoted Comment

Clearly your Mom was very traumatized by whatever happened in her relationships, and she's trying to protect you from the same trauma. That said, she needs to come to grips with the fact that you are not her, and your relationship is not hers, and that people can bounce back from difficulties and trauma and have happy, healthy relationships.

She may not support your marriage the way you want her to (and the way she should), and it sucks, but it is what it is. Forgive her and move on, because people only do the best that they can with the resources they have and be thankful that you have an open heart and happiness. She has to live with her misery every day.

I would consider eloping if you feel that it's more challenging to have a traditional wedding with your Mom involved.

Nothing wrong with eloping!