Family Issues

Wow that’s unfortunate. Do you know if there’s any specific reason of why they may not be as excited? Has there ever been any tension between you and your FH and them or something? I can somewhat understand maybe your dad not wanting to stay in the same house as the bridal party, but it does seem like a pretty nonchalant attitude towards your wedding. Sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure it will all work out. Have you ever thought about expressing this to your sister? I feel like it might be easier to express something to a sister than a father. Sometimes fathers can tend to be a little nonchalant about everything

I am so sorry you are going through this and you do not deserve these frustrations. Maybe a more intimate ceremony is the way to go. I say do your day your way in Jamaica. No disrespect to your father but he does not seem to make your wedding a priority so I would plan it the way you want. As for your sister, maybe have a heart to heart and ask her does she truly want to be in your party as you want her there but she seems to show disinterest then go from there. I am very sorry and hope things get better.

So you're using the house for your wedding venue and expect the bridal party to help pay for it?

View Quoted Comment Nope paid for it all, Ceremony is on the beach, reception under the house. All food and drinks paid for as well. Everyone gets their own room and bathroom, like a hotel, with nothing else to be paid for. The hotels in the area were more. I was looking at price point and saving money for all of the wedding party. Basic....

View Quoted Comment Yeah I think we are going to stick with the kids. They are the most important part anyways. We are blending our families, so I really want them to be comfortable. Who needs added stress? Thanks for the input, I appreciate it

Yea often times bridal party members aren't as excited as we hoped they'd be :/

View Quoted Comment Yeah, she has a lot going on, and I understand. It just is rather depressing not to be able to share with her :/

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Any time. The day is about you two. My friend and her husband had their wedding alone because even their kids at the time were being difficult and she felt they would make it all about them. Your focus are your kids and that is great. No invites were sent right? I say to the wedding you want and you can include family and the bridal party and groomsmen but make it Jamaica and say we understand if you cannot make. Has anyone purchased anything for your wedding? Flights? Dresses? Has a date been set? If so, then you may need to go forth as to not cause bad blood or lose out on deposits but if not, maybe consider wedding in Jamaica then post ceremony party for everyone to come.

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If the reception is under the house then yes, you're using this beach house as your reception site and having your wedding party subsidize the cost of your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the opinion

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I completely agree with Vicky. It is generally frowned upon to ask your wedding party to subsidize your wedding venue (which, as you indicated, is on the same property as the beach house)

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the opinion!

I have a bridesmaid who

Sorry I must have hit the reply button. I have a bridesmaid who is the same way. She was so excited when I asked her to be in the wedding a year ago. Now she isn't really involved in the wedding planning at all. My other bridesmaids try to plan things and ask for her opinion and she doesn't really respond she'll walk away from the conversation. I asked all my bridesmaids to pick out a couple of bridesmaid dresses so we can all try and agree on one of their choices and all my bridesmaids gave me 5 dresses they liked except her. I asked her if she even wanted to be in the wedding and she says yes she's excited about it. But then her boyfriend told me that she told him she's so sick and tired of hearing about the wedding. My other bridesmaids said that she is the type of person that isn't happy unless it's all about her and I definitely see it to be true. I've been thinking about telling her I don't want her in the wedding anymore.

All your plans seem very fun and accommodating to your guest. I am sorry not everyone is as excited. I realized there were many people in my life that were not as excited about my wedding as my husband and I. I initially would get a little irritated about it, but just realized only my husband and I really need to be there to get married.


Sounds like a small wedding may be less stressful. And try not to plan around everyone else and do what's best for you and your little family. If everyone else decide to come they could make their own arrangements.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I totally feel you on that one. My bridesmaid is the same way. The sad thing is she has been there for every one of my kids’ births, my previous wedding and has followed me wherever I have moved. I really want her to be excited too, but I do understand why she seems to be shying away from everything. I hope you find a solution with your bridesmaid too. It is a shame she doesn’t wanna share in your big day...

View Quoted Comment Yes I think I have made too many plans to accommodate everyone else and lost focus on him and I. Our kids and us are the most important and if they don’t want to share in the joy then they can choose to stay home. Sad, because I really want them there, but I can’t base the event on their wants either. The wedding is actually only family which is about 15 people. The entire wedding party is my three kids and my sister. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard. I don’t even think my dad wants to walk down the aisle. Guess I will cross that when the stone comes. Thank yo for sharing

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That's not an opinion. They are, factually, subsidizing the cost of your wedding by helping to pay for the venue.

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Agreed. Vicky is absolutely correct