Family Issues with destination wedding

I get that, it's more about the fact that it was done so passively. Why can't we have adult conversations. It's known that FMIL is an alarmist and wife of FBIL said he shouldn't have sent the stuff to her. I just feel like it was malicious.

I would be pissed. If I were in your shoes I'd keep with my original plans, especially since I've already committed money. They sound like the kind of people who will find problems no matter what you do. If you give in, you'll be kicking yourself in the future when you realize they'll never be happy. I mean, they already pressured you out of an elopement. They need to stop.

We're having a DW, and I got a couple texts about the travel warning to Mexico yesterday. I don't think anyone was doing it to be a dick (and I don't think your FBIL was doing it to be a dick either, unless that's his brand), but more as just and FYI so people can make informed decisions.

The sooner you accept the fact that you are not going to change your FI's family, the better. Whether their concern about the travel ban is legitimate or not, the two of you are the ones who chose a destination wedding and its' inherent problems.

Your wedding is not for 9 months. Things may be more clear, one way or the other, by then.

I wouldn't worry too much. If they choose not to go it's their decision. As others said, you can't force them nor should you lose out on the money you already invested. If you were initially planning to elope then these people likely would not have come to your wedding anyway so it's not really a loss to be concerned with.

If FBIL is sending articles and that sent her over the edge, can you find a few articles yourself on how safe or secure the area you are going will be?

She honestly sounds a little like my MIL, who always believes the first thing she hears, but is also quick to change her mind if she is having a conversation with someone else. Maybe she will be able to flip her stance if you address her concerns in the same way FBIL is escalating them?

If that doesn't work, go with above advice.

Where is the wedding?

My DW was in Shanghai, China this year after the 45th was sworn in. I honestly did not know what to expect to hear from my guests. Everyone seemed okay, but my guests' friends were the ones that made some comments about not being able to come back, etc. Did it bother me? Yes. Did I say something? Only when one of my guests had a question or concern. In the end, adults will make a decision best for them. The one adult trying to rally people up is the one with a problem and imo a bit jealous.