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Beginner September 2019

Family group photos

Maria, on July 17, 2020 at 12:29 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17

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This may be a silly question but I’m really curious about it. So I got married last September. We (like many other weddings) were taking family portraits right after the ceremony since everyone was at the church together. Well, my parents’ family didn’t know to stay after to take these photos and my parents were pissed at me thinking I didn’t tell them on purpose or something. Question is: Is it common sense for family to stay post ceremony to take group family photos (my husband’s family knew to stay and we didn’t say anything to them either). Or, is someone supposed to ask family to stay for photos (photographer‘s responsibility, mom or dad telling family to stay for photos, etc)?

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17 Comments

Latest activity by Courtney, on July 17, 2020 at 9:36 PM

Master October 2022
Jana · on July 17, 2020 at 12:41 AM
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Whatever you decide to do for pictures, before or after the ceremony, should be communicated to everyone who will be in the pictures. Most people as a whole automatically assume all are being taken following the ceremony unless specified otherwise. It's possible that they aren't used to a professional photographer at weddings or they didn't think they were close enough to you to be included in pictures as most are typically the couple, their parents and attendants only. It's not that common for guests in general and extended family to be professionally photographed.
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Super October 2021
Ashley · on July 17, 2020 at 2:11 AM
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Generally, someone should tell the family members who need to be present where to go and when. We are telling family by word of mouth and included it on the schedule on the website. (People can only see events to which they were invited.) For the wedding day, we have a designated person on each side of our family to ensure people are where they need to be and paying attention when the photographer is ready for them.
Pictures are normally wedding party, parents, grandparents, and siblings only. Any extended family members likely would not have expected to be included.
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Expert September 2020
· on July 17, 2020 at 5:28 AM
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To me, that would seem like common sense but I guess if you don’t go to a lot of weddings you just wouldnt know to stay
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Devoted July 2020
Christina · on July 17, 2020 at 7:20 AM
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To me Itis common sense but to be honest if I wasn’t in a lot of weddings I don’t think I would know that
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on July 17, 2020 at 7:33 AM
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Honestly, I think you dropped the ball on this one. It is your responsibility to communicate, not the photographer’s or anyone else’s. They should have been notified prior, your officiant could have made an announcement has you requested, etc.
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Super August 2020
Alex · on July 17, 2020 at 8:28 AM
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I always believe in over communicating thing. Assume people know nothing.
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on July 17, 2020 at 9:06 AM
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Also I don’t think it’s fair for your parents to be upset or angry with you. It was very much their responsibility as well, and they could have easily notified your family members to let them know about the picture taking.
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Devoted March 2021
Margarita · on July 17, 2020 at 9:31 AM
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I always thought that it’s a given that family should stick around for photos after but I have herd it being communicated after the ceremony
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on July 17, 2020 at 9:46 AM
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The biggest part of wedding planning is making plans. So communication is key with vendors and anyone you want involved that day. When it comes to weddings (or anything), making assumptions isn’t a good idea. Prime example... they assumed they weren’t supposed to stay for photos and you assumed that they should have known to stay. Sorry that happened and hopefully they’ve gotten past it.
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Devoted June 2021
Chelsea G · on July 17, 2020 at 10:07 AM
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I think it is common sense but also I would've found a way to at least call them or find them to ask them where they were for the pictures. I just can't imagine not finding time to have formal pictures with my own family.
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Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on July 17, 2020 at 10:10 AM
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I never assume anyone beyond immediate family will be in the family photos. I wanted a full family photo, so I just sent someone that knew the whole family to round up the right people.
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Beginner September 2019
Maria · on July 17, 2020 at 10:58 AM
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Yeah definitely something I unfortunately didn’t think about! When we’ve gone to weddings on my parents side of the family, we always use stuck around after the ceremony for family photos so I assumed my parents family would do the same. Lesson learned: never assume!! Haha
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on July 17, 2020 at 11:35 AM
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Yeah I think these things definitely need to be communicated ahead of time. Whenever I attend a family wedding and the bride and room want us to stick around for pictures, I'm notified ahead of time. We sent an email a week prior to our wedding to the family members who we wanted to stick around for pictures after the ceremony, so that they knew not to run off to the cocktail hour. That being said, your parents shouldn't be upset with you...you obviously didn't not tell them on purpose
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Master December 2019
Courtney · on July 17, 2020 at 4:38 PM
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It seems like common sense in hindsight to many. However, I still communicated this point to the wedding party (parents and siblings included) during rehearsal. This was mostly due to how we were exiting the ceremony as we had to go out a side door and not into the cocktail hour space.
The wedding party did well, the parents did well, heck even the 4 y/o FG listened. Who didn't? My younger brother. His excuse? His girlfriend didn't want to be left alone during cocktail hour with people she didn't know. Girl, he was gonna be in the next room for like 10 minutes haha.
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Super February 2020
Andrea · on July 17, 2020 at 7:28 PM
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If I’m supposed to be in the photos someone typically tells me, otherwise I end up wandering looking for the bar for a drink. It sounds like they should have been told because they didn’t know :/
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Beginner September 2019
Maria · on July 17, 2020 at 9:26 PM
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Lol! Sounds like something my brother would do too! Luckily we got photos with my parents and brother. My mom was wanting to get one big family photo from her side of the family with a ton of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc but I’m kinda glad that didn’t end up happening because it would have taken so much extra time to do all that
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Master December 2019
Courtney · on July 17, 2020 at 9:36 PM
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Oh yeah, no, that's too much haha.
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