I need to vent for a second. I'm so upset that I can't really think about anything else right now. Really long post ahead so thanks if you even get through it! It's more for myself and a therapeutic experience. Maybe some of you have gone through something like this and can relate?
My wedding is officially 3 months away and we are in the thick of final planning details. I've been talking with my 2 aunts and uncles during the whole process and they have been so eager to talk, get excited, and also judge everything. I have an extremely small family, so the only ones that would be there on the day would be my parents, my brothers, my dad's two brothers and their children (those 2 aunts and uncles), and my grandmother on my dad's side. 11 people. It isn't much, but it's all we've got, and I've been really looking forward to having them even though we have NOT always gotten along. They're not very good people, but they try; we have our ups and downs for sure. I spent a lot of time with them growing up at family dinners and holidays together. I even asked one of my cousins to be the ring bearer, and aunt #2 (his mom) so ecstatically accepted. I live in FL with my FH and they live in MI; we are having a FL wedding, but everyone has been aware of this for a whole year now and hasn't put up any fuss or opposition whatsoever. Not one word.
About a month ago, I receive the news through my parents (not through RSVP or even just a phone call to me, eye roll) that aunt&uncle #1 are not coming to the wedding. They decided to plan their honeymoon at the last second and take all of their time off for that. Although annoying because he's my favorite uncle and my date was planned way before they even spoke about getting married (they had their wedding in June), it's understandable. Of course their own honeymoon is more important to them and they need their time off for those special events. So, now we're down to 8 family members attending the wedding. But not to worry, son of #2 is the ring bearer, they will be there for sure.
Okay, here's the kicker. I've been texting said aunt #2, the mother of the ring bearer (Preston), about what he will wear in the wedding. First of all, this woman married into the family and no one likes her. She forces fake niceness on all of us, showering with compliments, and then talking crap about us behind our backs. She is a very bad mother, begging Preston to stop hitting and behave instead of actually parenting him. He's now 8 years old and is still a terror. My grandmother can't stand them and they get on everyone's nerves. However, although a crappy person, she has proven reliable when it comes to important life events. She always gets excited and acts very supportive and like she cares (even though she said, "why are you having a bridesman in your wedding??? is he gonna wear a dress too??" cue second eye roll), so there was no doubt in my mind that they would be present.
Anyway, she told me just a few days ago that she loved the outfit that I picked for her son to wear in the wedding. She has also been speaking to me about getting them a discounted Disney resort (I'm a cast member) for the duration of their stay. She is only interested in the most expensive deluxe Disney Resorts and is very wealthy, so she can definitely afford the trip. Then yesterday, I asked her when she thinks she'll be able to pick up his outfit. She responds, "Hi Allyson. Unfortunately, Preston's spring break is the week before your wedding. Unfortunately, not sure if we are going to be able to make it. I wish your wedding was on a weekend. Let me talk to your uncle and get back to you soon."
OKAY let's unpack that real quick
1. They have known the wedding date for one entire YEAR. It's not a surprise, we are three months away and you just realized that it's on a Thursday?? Our venue is two thousand dollars cheaper on Thursdays and we are paying for it entirely by ourselves (we live paycheck to paycheck so it's taking a lot to pull it off.) My FH has an enormous family and they are all managing to make it on a Thursday (with children), and all of our friends have RSVP'd despite the fact that we are all adults and have jobs and responsibilities. I get that a lot of people say that you can't expect guests to travel on Thursdays, but honestly when you have a year in advance, you have time to prioritize and account for one Thursday off. I stand firm on our Thursday choice.
2. They constantly pull their son out of school. They will pull him out for weeks at a time to take leisure trips to my aunt's family cabin, Cabo, you name it. They let him stay home from school if he simply whines (again, he is badly behaved), so school has never been an issue in any other scenario.
3. He is IN THE WEDDING!! Why did you accept the ring bearer proposal?! You're leaving me without a ring bearer just a few months before! I know that to some it doesn't feel last minute, but it feels extremely last minute to us. That is so rude and inconsiderate. Why have you been speaking with me about this for a year and getting involved if you're going to text me, not even call me, not even text first might I add, but send a RESPONSE to my text about an outfit saying that you don't think you can come?
4. My only family attending (most likely) now is my parents, two brothers, and grandma. That's 6 people. I'm so sad.
I'm not looking for advice because I know my family and how my aunt is, I already responded with a very blunt and honest message about how ridiculous it is and how upset it makes me. I just really needed to write about this so that I can try to unload it off of my mind. I am so hurt and this is such a slap in the face; you can't choose your family and they really get on my nerves, but I wanted to include them and it's so important to have them there for my special day. Even though we have our ups and downs, we are family and they acted so much like this would be a priority for them. If they truly don't show, it will draw a line in the sand forever.
I'd really like to know if anyone relates.
