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Just Said Yes November 2017

Family Feud

Alicia, on February 24, 2017 at 1:16 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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What is the etiquette regarding invitations when there is a family feud. Situation: My mother's sister (B) and her daughter (J) made some very hurtful and disgusting remarks towards my sister (maid-of-honor) via an online social forum. I have since cut all communication with my cousin (J). I plan on inviting my aunt despite her part in this feud out of respect for my mother, and my other cousin (H) who played no part in the feud. I do not feel that my cousin's (J) presence would be beneficial or add positive vibes to the day. My mother believes that I should invite my cousin (J) as well because, "she probably won't attend". What is the proper way to deal with this? Do I solely invite my aunt, and neither of her daughters? Invite my aunt and both my cousins? Invite my aunt and cousin (J) who was not involved? I'm trying to avoid WWIII. Thanks!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Miss S., on February 24, 2017 at 5:39 AM

Super September 2017
Reeves · on February 24, 2017 at 1:45 AM
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I'd probably suck it up and invite them all. Because no matter what they are still family. That doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to have a great time with them on your wedding day. But if they don't show atleast you can say you tried. And you still have months so who knows, the issue may be resolved by then
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Master November 2017
Del · on February 24, 2017 at 2:03 AM
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It honestly depends what they did to your sister. Did they threaten her with harm, attack her belief system or her identity, abuse her in any way? Was it a tiff between family members that just got out of hand? What exactly happened?
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Super September 2017
Reeves · on February 24, 2017 at 2:10 AM
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Yes more detail would help... but just from what you have given above, that's what I would do.
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VIP September 2017
FutureFuji · on February 24, 2017 at 2:18 AM
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You know the situation best. If they don't have a positive influence in your life then I saw why have them be present at the happiest day of your life. Also, talk to you sister. She is your MOH so you're obviously close. If this person presence will ruin her day then don't invite them. Your sister is a more imp guest in this case. I would still invite your aunt and cousin bc like you said they did nothing wrong. They can chose whether or not to attend.
I have a relative that to this day still calls me by my sisters name and could care less about me. They are not invited to my day because I don't consider them a relative of mine. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and you genuinely enjoy their company.
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VIP March 2017
Miss S. · on February 24, 2017 at 5:39 AM
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I cherry-picked relatives on my dad's side. Two of his thee cousins (all adults) were invited. His aunt and uncle were not. The aunt is a rotten lady who causes much angst. I've never met the other cousin. Even though I knew these other people would not accept the invitation, I didn't send them one because I didn't want them there. The only one who was upset by this was my grandma, but only because she felt it was "the right thing to do." She didn't want them coming either. You know your own family. Consider how it will impact them to not invite someone from a group.
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