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Just Said Yes March 2022

Family drama

So Stressed, on February 13, 2022 at 10:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Advice welcome but mostly needing support. We've been planning the wedding for a while and I thought doing a good job of keeping people informed.

Clearly that has not been the case as it seems like everyone just hates everything now. The morning wedding that was more in line with family cultural traditions. Now way too early, and people have said its a bad idea.
Its a winter wedding up north, so its going to be cold. Recognizing this we haven't set any dress code. On multiple occasions we have told people to dress comfortably, and if that means snow pants go for it! (Like seriously one of my bridesmaids might be wearing them) Plus we planned for a short ceremony so people can get inside quickly. We ran the date by everyone early on and while hesitant they didn't have hard opinions. Until now, after everything has been paid for. The weather is too cold, noone will enjoy the wedding.
Now they just keep bringing up photos. And saying how we should really do the grandparents first since we are making them wait outside. This is despite the fact that we have said multiple times the photos will be inside. Its just another barb of things we've done wrong.
There's been more it just this is the big stuff, because deposits are already paid and vendors booked. Its not like we can just tell people to rebook their flights. Just so frusterate that all of these negative emotions are coming out now and I have no idea how to make people happy or at least okay. Now stuff I used to be excited for I'm juts dreading, since it is clear it will just be a burden for everyone to be there.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on February 17, 2022 at 12:34 AM

Dedicated April 2023
Ashley · on February 14, 2022 at 12:01 AM
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Stand your ground about the decisions you've made.
At the end of the day, it's your and your partner's wedding, you guys should do what makes the two of you happy.
You don't have to do things in order to please them, including the parents, cultural traditions or not, you only have to please yourself and your future spouse, especially when it comes to your wedding day... the wedding should reflect your personalities and tastes.
They will get over it.
Unless you guys want your parents,grandparents to dictate how your whole life will look like, what to do/not to do.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 14, 2022 at 2:22 AM
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My only concern here is how long are you expecting people to be outside in what type of weather? Many people don't own appropriate cold weather gear unless they ski or something.
The timing of the wedding sounds like everyone is just being picky, unless it's really early. What time is it at?
When it comes down to it, if people have that much of a problem, I guess they're welcome to decline.
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Super November 2020
Natalie · on February 15, 2022 at 10:04 PM
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Some key details to this situation are missing— what time is “early,” what do you mean by “cold,” and is this going to be an indoor or outdoor event?
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Just Said Yes March 2022
So Stressed · on February 16, 2022 at 6:05 PM
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The wedding starts at 10am and set up is at 9am. People don't have to be there at 9am, but we have told them if they would like to help and are able to that would be great. Not sure if that is too early?

It is going to be in the 20-30s which is warm for our area (usually temp is around 0). I'm not worried about people having winter gear because around you need it just to get to the car. That said, the ceremony was planned to be outside, at most 30 minutes, with a reception inside. We were also providing blankets and handwarmers just in case people wanted extra warmth too.

The temp is one of the few things we actually have wiggle room in, since are backup was going to be insight if bad weather or temps lower than 5 were predicted.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on February 16, 2022 at 9:28 PM
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Expecting people to be outdoors longer than it takes to get from their vehicle to the front door of the venue is poor hosting. People have a right to be upset and they would be justified if they chose to decline for that reason. This is not something you can force on people and expect them to happily comply with. An outdoor ceremony in freezing weather is a hard pass for many people. Go back to the drawing board and figure out what you can come up with that puts guests’ comfort into your primary focus. If that is not feasible, eloping may be a better option.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 17, 2022 at 12:34 AM
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I don't think 20-30 degrees is feasible to have people just sitting there for 30 minutes. You should probably let go of that idea.
What about taking some outdoor photos in that spot with just your spouse instead?
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