Family drama

You can't make other people get along.

You *can* try and set up a low-pressure get together so that everyone can meet. Perhaps a family dinner, or a park picnic, or something not wedding related at all.

If you feel comfortable, try discussing the issues *with* your in-laws. Explain how you view this as a very complex relationship, and that you are trying to keep it positive.

But, know this: you can't make other people like each other.

Well, it's like this really.. they will either get along or they won't. I am sure someone has enough sense to not make any kind of scene on your special day. You could try to have them all together under the same roof for a low key get together. Is there a reason you don't think they will get along?

They don't need to be best friends. They'll see each other maybe a couple of times a year. I don't really understand what the drama is here, but as long as they're mature enough to be civil during those occasions, everything will be fine.

View Quoted Comment My father in law and I get along really well because of our childhoods, we both went through a lot, and we just kind of clicked. We’ve both told each other stories about our childhoods, and just from what he’s heard, he doesn’t think he’ll like her. He’s already said he will play nice, but he doesn’t really want to get along with her. I really wish they would though because I want to have family get togethers, or both family’s over for Christmas.

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Ah I understand now, thanks for explaining. He probably won't like her but you don't have to like someone to play nice (although it helps). I really hope things work out for you.

I've also had a rocky relationship with my mom and I'm sure my FH parents/grandparents know some of it. Mostly because I've been with my FH for 10 years and we were teenagers when we started dating, so either I've vented to them or FH has.

I think it should be obvious to his parents that this is your mom and no matter what she does, you love her. It's not on them to make a judgement about her character or treat her badly because of the things you guys have been through.

Our families didn't meet until we were engaged and I planned a little engagement dinner with just parents and grandparents at a restaurant. It went super well even though FH dad and stepdad do NOTTTTT get along. And everyone has heard stories about my "crazy mom" and everyone was super nice to her and just got to know her themselves.

I think if you feel like you have to worry about how fh parents are going to treat your mom, that says more about fh parents than it does you or your mom. (I hate when people say this but....) They're adults and should know how to conduct themselves around people, whether they want to be bffs or not.