Family drama? that may or may not happen

I think it would be better to separate them. I don't see the point of making them sit together at all. Surely there must be other family you can split them between, like aunts, uncles or grandparents?

Good hosting means making all of your guests comfortable, and your Dad is advocating for his wife.

I would seat your father and step-mother at a table with other members of your father's family. I know you had hoped to seat all parents at one table together, but it sounds like doing that could possibly create a bad experience for everyone at that table.

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Yeah. Thats what ive been told but a lot of my extended family from his side isnt coming so its my stepdads extended family that is the uncles and aunts. So i really can only seat them with my fiances family. Talking to my moh has helped since i posted this. Thank you for your input it was quite helpful.

I disagree. They are adults and should be able act as such. In doing so, they will respect you at your wedding. It’s not your responsibility to create seating based on who gets along and who doesn’t.

What would be the benefit of having everyone at the same table if you already know that they do not get along? Why are you unable to separate them by having mom’s family at one table and stepmom’s family at another? Are you unable to rent extra tables? It’s better to have smaller groups at more tables than to intentionally invite chaos by seating people together who act like oil and water with the plan to save money and space. It will backfire and the emotional aftermath is not worth it.


Yes they are adults and should behave as such but that doesn’t mean that they automatically will. Divorces, weddings and funerals always have the potential to make otherwise rational people behave badly. Have security hired, which your venue may require anyway, in case anything does happen.

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Actually, that's exactly her responsibility.

As the host, it's important to ensure the comfort of all invited guests.

I wouldn’t feel weird about placing them with your fiancé’s family. The whole point of the wedding anyway is to join two families, so they can start getting to know each other better. And it sounds like they would much prefer that than being at a table together.. I have a tiny family, so only my mom will be in attendance at my wedding. We’re planning to put her next to my future in-laws at every event so they can hopefully enjoy being VIPs together.

Our SIL's parents have a strained relationship -- especially from his mom's perspective. We seated her at our table (MOB & FOB, with our friends), specifically with her back facing the direction of FOG's table. The venue actually had to switch out our table from one that seated 8 to a larger one that seated 10 to make it work, but it significantly lowered the anticipated stress for our daughter and SIL to know his mom would be less likely to create issues.

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They are adults who should be expected to be able to be in the same room together for a few hours and to behave with civility. That doesn't mean it's not a terrible idea to seat them at the same table. That's just pushing it.