Family Drama over a Flowergirl

Does your FH want them in the wedding? It’s really his call.

View Quoted Comment He really didn’t have an opinion on whether or not they should be. With all the drama that has now occurred he feels obligated to ask them...

🙄🙄 lol I don’t know why people are like this. I feel like I would never be offended if someone didn’t select me to be in their wedding etc. I’ve always felt like the bride selected the people on her side which includes the flower girl and the groom selected people on his side. Is that his only aunt and only cousins? Because If not I’m just curious as to why she feels like her kids should be included but not all his other cousins.

Since he only feels obligated to do it, and not that he wanted to have them in before all of this came to light, I'd say no. This is supposed to be what you and FH want, and other people guilting him into having them in the wedding isn't cool, for lack of better wording

You’re not obligated to have anyone in particular as your flower girl. I chose my my best friends daughter, who happens to me my sons best friend (they’re 4yo), even tho I had plenty of girls on FH family’s side who I could have chosen. It’s really up to you and FH, and no one else.

Lol I hate people... like seriously. Im sorry your going through this but I agree, you should have who YOU want in the wedding not someone that you feel obligated to have in the wedding. If you feel lts necessary to have them in the wedding you could always make up some kind of position lol or you could always have two flower girls if you wanted!

Just explain that you are very close with this child and this is what you need to do but dont want the kids to feel left out. Maybe you can give them official duties like the guest book. Chances are they dont care that much. The mom is probably driving this drama. Good luck.

It's your wedding and what you want. His aunt has no say in that. You're close to you MOH's kids. Like you said, you see them as your own. She shouldn't be upset by this. If it comes up, just tell her that you love these kids like you would your own children and that's why you wanted the youngest as the flower girl. Leave it at that. If she keeps bringing it up, you could try telling her that you're sorry she's upset by it, you weren't doing it to upset her, but this is your wedding and your choice. Good luck

My son wasn't asked to be in my brothers wedding and I didn't care even though some of my other siblings kids were. Its y'all s wedding. You should never feel obligated. If you want them in it and FH agrees then add them BUT if neither of you want them or care then just explain hey While I understand your disheartenedness I have been much closer to so and so and i really only have a place for a flower girl and its her. Idk.... its really your call though. i wouldn't add someone out of pity though.

There's no requirement that you even have a flower girl, so there is no rule they have to be family! His aunt is just guilt tripping him! My brother had a friend's daughter even though we have younger second cousins. It is who you and FH want, not are obligated, to have!

I could see her being upset if you considered her kids to be like your own and you didn't choose them but I say you shouldn't feel any obligation to have your FH aunt's kids in your wedding. I say keep it as is and she'll get over it!

Thank you so much ladies for your advice and comments! I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t in the wrong, or wasn’t looking at the WHOLE picture.

View Quoted Comment

This specifically. I've had to explain a similar situation in a similar way, and it at least seemed to pacify the person in question.

The way I see it, a flower girl is part of the bride's entourage, not the groom's. That little girl will be spending a ton of time with the bride and bridesmaids and if you aren't related to this little girl, and you don't have a relationship with her, it would be weird to have her in such a role in my opinion. She might be uncomfortable.

I think you should have whomever you want to be in your bridal party. She would not change her weeding around for you. People are too much anymore

You are not obligated to have anyone in your wedding. You have who you want. My step mom felt like my little sister should have been my flower girl or junior bridesmaid. That wasn't going to happen. Our daughter will be our flower girl because that makes more sense. I honestly don't know what a junior bridesmaid does, or see the point in it. Through my wedding planning I came to the confusion that you can't please anyone. I stopped trying to please everyone and focused on me and FH's big day.