Family disapproval

I guess since we dont know the situation in detail its kind of hard to agree or disagree with your grandparents. While i 100 percent agree that a financial situation should never keep you from spending your life with the person you love, I do think you need to be respectful the way you go about getting married. You say you are both unable to support yourselves and live with your parents. Are you having an actual wedding or getting eloped? If finances were an issue and you are already leaning on your family for money I would not be asking for a wedding they would be financing on top of that. Your grandparents may see it that way. Have the wedding that you and your fiance can afford, it will be perfect regardless.

This response is perfect.

This says everything.

I agree 100%!

Thanks everyone! Topics like this can sometimes be a slippery slope, So Amber I hope you take my advice in a positive way. If you are still in school im going to assume you are young. Financial and health issues make that even more difficult. I feel for you...we've all been there in some way or another. Perhaps wait until you are at a better place in life? The wedding would be so much more special when it is everything you've dreamed of and you have your families love and support. You're fiance clearly loves you, and believe me...the dudes dont pop the question for the wedding. I'm sure he would be happy waiting as well. Good luck!

I think you have to think of this as concern, not disapproval. Sounds like grandma just wants to make sure you and her grandson are being smart about your decisions.

Maybe this will allow you to critically look at how you are moving forward with this wedding. Are you spending money you don't have? Or taking money for the wedding from people who are already helping you live your life?

Honestly, it sounds like you're having a tough time personally right now and being in college at the same time probably is just compounding it. Is there a particular reason to rush to get married now or could you wait until finances and life circumstances (graduate college, have a job and savings etc) are more figured out?

ETA: Just saw your update. I would call guests individually and let them know that circumstances have changed and the wedding is no longer taking place. Has anyone booked travel yet?

As far as eloping, I really want to say that it's ridiculous to get married just cause that is what FFIL wants. But you are living with him so that adds an additional level. If I were you I'd probably just go to the courthouse and get married but also think long and hard if this is what you want. You shouldn't be making huge life decisions just to make others happy.

There is no reason to be embarrassed. A courthouse wedding is a wedding. I've seen some gorgeous ones on here. And you can always do a vow renewal at your 10 year anniversary.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about. You're getting married and that's exciting, no matter where it happens. You can always have a vow renewal when you're in a better place.

Is there a possibility of you two finding an alternative place to stay- or him going to live with family while you stay with yours just till things settle and you are able to financially afford something different? Marriage should never ever be rushed, or done because of a situation other than love and being 120% ready. Can i ask how old you are?

Honey, I don't know if you've already made your decision, but after ready everything I truly believe you should go ahead with the wedding. If your parents have no problem with you staying with them while you get back on your feet, as well as paying for the wedding and everything is already in motion, go for it! You love each other and have already planned and budgeted, and this will help you save for your married life.

That being said, if you feel you have to cut down on the guest list, I'm sure people will understand your financial situation. And if you feel it is best to cancel, that's entirely your business and no one would have any right to complain or make and your partner embarrassed. Life happens.

My partner and I both have mental health issues, and are receiving financial support from our families. However, this has been the case for many years, and it's not possible to know exactly when things will change. If we wait, we could be waiting several more years. We are planning an elopement style wedding with our closest friends and family, which is exactly what we want.

Don't compromise your needs or your day just because someone doesn't understand and is vocal about it.