Family Assigned Seating - Everyone else not

Hi Nicole! I actually really like your idea to have ushers direct guests to designated tables. However, do you think there might be confusion if certain guests are assigned seats, while others get to choose?

Assign everyone. Skip the ushers. Do escort cards (or a seating chart) per couple.

Just write John Smith and Guest. I assume you have an exact count for the caterer, right? You just don't have the plus one names? I think things will run more smoothly if everyone is assigned a table, not a specific seat though.

View Quoted Comment I second this. If you really don't want to assign everyone then I would have several tables that have Reserved signs on them and then have those guests escorted or let them know ahead of time that they will be sitting at reserved tables.

Agree with Maria- you're seating the plus ones with their guests that you know. If for some reason you can't text/contact everyone and find out their plus one's names then just say "Mr So and so and Guest" on the escort card. I think I'd find it really confusing to go to a wedding where only some seats were assigned and others werent.

Assign everyone to a table. Try to get the names of the plus ones but if you can't then it is fine to put on their escort card Mr. John Doe and Guest. People really don't seat themselves very well when left to their own devices which means sometimes couples/families can't sit together at the same table.

I'm on team escort cards. First, expense wise you need extra tables when people seat themselves, because they never seem to divide themselves up evenly. Second, and this is the fear for my own wedding, you do not want it to turn into a middle school cafeteria. You know, with the cool people and the "you can't sit with us."

I would honestly just assign tables. This is what we are doing that way we know our elderly guests will not be too close to the DJ. Everyone will be assigned a table and our immediate families will be assigned seats at the table so our parents get the best seats. Everyone else will see "oh, table 4?" and they can pick their seat at table 4.

I would put the name and guest next to it and assign tables at the very least. Trust me it makes it easier for all involved.

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Oooo please don't do several tables reserved for family. My ex-SIL did this, and it was a NIGHTMARE. Because she reserved three tables for the bridal party & intimidate family. Well more of her family thought they were intimidate then where, and sat at the reserved tables, and when the bridal party was announced they had no where to sit! And all of the bridal party dates (my self included, and the two other bridal party dates who didn't know anyone and we'd all latched together) where left sitting at a table with grouchy old aunt blah blah who though she should be sitting front and center.

Anyway, I'm team escort cards, I would say call the people who'd +1 names you don't have and ask.

At least do assigned tables if nothing else. I initially wanted to forgo a seating chart until I saw some of the problems it could cause. If you don't have the +1s names, you can do as other's suggested and write, "Ms. Jane Smith and Guest."

Besides the obvious issues with this, you are going to have people checking every person in at the door? That will cause a line to get in as they are looking through names on a list to see who has a seat and who doesn't. All of the previous suggestions are fine.

There's not enough people for there to be a huge line at the door but I get what people are saying. I just felt putting + Guest felt weird and impersonal since this is basically a family only affair with +1s scattered in the mix.

Someone had commented about the confusion it could cause but I'm assigning seats not just tables so people would know when their name wasn't on a plate that they're in the wrong spot. Just want to make sure the eldest members of our family are honored and placed where it will be easiest for them.

I will talk to my fiance about just assigning everyone and adding the +Guest and/or searching out names. Another aspect that makes this difficult is that certain members of the family don't get along well with others and I never know from one day to the next who is feuding with who so I'm not entirely certain who should be seated at the same table. It's not like I can ask: So, who do you hate right now? Who do you not want to share a table with? LOL.

Just wish people would have filled in the RSVPs properly and entered the name of their guests. LOL.

View Quoted Comment If it’s not that many people, can you just reach out and ask the name of who these people are bringing?

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I think I've accepted the +Guest idea. I wish I could trust people to just respect the elders but I don't. HAHA. My family are ... yeah. Anyway. +Guest works. My knee jerk reaction was I didn't like it but it's really the only way that makes the most sense.

Unfortunately 50% of my guest list are nigh on unreachable except through mail. They don't have internet, don't use phones... frustrating to say the least and there wouldn't be enough time to mail them and have a response before wedding at this point.

I can't be the only one planning a wedding with a bunch of hillbillies, can I?

And I say that affectionately. They are who they are. I love em... they're just a bit difficult to work with sometimes.

My cousin did seating for immediate family and free seating for everyone else and it turned out fine! Everyone had a seat and the wedding was a blast. Do what you feel is right. Just because there is an "etiquette" for something doesn't make it right for everyone.

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Oh! That's good to hear! I really didn't want assigned seating but my aunts and uncles are all up there in age and I just want to make sure they're honored and taken care of.

View Quoted Comment This happened to me too... I was supposed to sit at a table reserved for "bridal party guests" but apparently random people decided that meant them. I had been running around helping with stuff and when I came in right before the bridal party was announced i had no where to sit. Someone made them move, otherwise I was fully prepared to stand and eat in the corner 😂

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Yep, go with this. It gets sticky deciding who is and isn't "important" enough to assign a seat for and can hurt feelings. Plus it's just sooo much easier to find a seat that way!

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Not really? The 'important' ones were aunts and uncles on all sides. I think that makes total sense and wouldn't have led to hurt feelings but I am seating everyone now which could lead to much in fighting but hey what's a wedding without some battles? LOL