Family and In Laws

I’m in exactly the same situation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

My FH isn't really close with my parents. They live 4 hours away and we never been super family oriented. I'm really close with my mom but see her a few times a year and don't celebrate holidays real big or anything. My FH family is very family oriented and try to pull me in, lol. I really care for his family but sometimes it can be overwhelming to me. I am working on it though. I think it is what works best for you and your SO.

My family lives about 2 hours away, and FH's family is literally on the opposite side of the country. I'm pretty close with my parents and talk to them fairly often; FH isn't that close with his. We normally travel out to visit them once a year and they're super nice, but the distance coupled with the fact that FH isn't super close with them means that I'm not super close with them. We see my family far more often, so we're closer with them. Our parents have met once, and although it'd be nice if they could spend more time together, the reality is that distance and time are two unavoidable factors.

I don't think there's any "rules" especially since nowadays a lot of people have strained relationships with their families. In my case, my MIL doesn't even have my phone number and we don't see her much. There are a lot of reasons for us having a distant relationship with her. But we are very close with my parents - we go on vacations with them, my husband will call my mom or dad if he needs to talk to someone and I don't answer the call. Due to the same reasons that we aren't close with my MIL my parents aren't close with her either. It's not a big deal to us. My FIL lives in France and my parents get along with him even though they've only met once due to distance, but they are Facebook friends and all that lol

If it's important to you, your families will probably get closer once you have children and you have birthday parties and stuff for them. If you don't want to have children I'd recommend hosting holidays at your house to bring everyone together.

It depends on the family. My dad has only met my future in-laws once. My mom has spent a little more time with them. I, personally don’t want to be close to my in-laws. They think very differently than me and it’s sometimes uncomfortable being over their house.

Every situation is different, so I don't think there's any guidelines on how close you should be. My husband and I are super close with our families, but we all live in the same town. We started dating when we were 16 though, so a lot of the time we spent together was at each other's houses. My in-laws are a 3 minute drive away, and my parents and brother all live down the street from us. However, I think your situation is much more common than mine.

I am very close with my family but not close to his much. I did try but they turned on me while he was deployed and I ended up spending a weekend crying and panicking over the idea of maybe having to cancel the wedding with how they were acting towards me. Now I'm much more wary of being around them and don't answer any questions beyond a basic answer- no extra info. Fiance is not close to his family at all. They put him through horrible things growing up and still do. He's more close to my family than to his and I think his mom resents that, and me, but they think they've never done anything wrong. His older brother I dislike the most...he's just such a bleeping bleephole.

My fh tolerates my mom bc she's kind of crazy. But he works on my family's cars and does favors for my grandparents. We live really close to my mom/stepdad and grandparents. His family lives about an hour away and I've made an effort to be close with them and they make an effort to be close with me. I don't see our families ever really hanging out unless it's a our future child's birthday or christmas.

I don’t think “closeness” really matters. That term confuses me a little. My FH is friendly with my family, jokes around with my siblings, we’ve all gone on vacation together so all is well. I have no relationship with his family because they are super awkward clingy people to be around, I get ignored by some and then there’s awkward silence. Any and every run in with them is cringey lol. At the end of the day, FH and I branch off and create our own little fsnily

I think it just depends on what you want! My parents are not remotely close to each other's families. Their families never got along.

FH and I are both extremely close to each others families. FSMIL and FFIL live in the same city as us with FH's half siblings. we all have a killer relationship and do things together often.

FMIL and her boyfriend and FH's other half brother live across the country in California but I'm equally close to them. All of his family and mine get together when they are in town.

FH and my parents are also really close. FH plays golf at least once a week with my dad.

I'm a huge family person so for me it was really important to have a really lovely relationship. For some people it's enough that everyone just gets along. Every family is different!