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Monique
Master December 2019

Family advice

Monique, on July 2, 2019 at 7:22 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
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Hi everyone, wondering if I could get advice about how my mom is acting towards a wedding guest. Specifically the best man. The best man has been my friend for a really long time and has been good friends with my fh for a few years now. My mom found out today that he is gay and bringing his so. Let’s just say she’s not happy to put it lightly. She basically told me to tell them to not even hold hands. My dad said it’s my wedding and I will invite who I will invite (he has no problems towards him) but I cant Help but feel like this will continue to be an issue for her. Any advice on how to go about having a conversation with her about the whole situation? The last thing I would Want is drama at the wedding but obviously I want Them both there. I’m just worried This will spiral but not sure how to handle it without things getting out of control.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on July 4, 2019 at 3:41 AM
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    Tell her that while she may not agree with his lifestyle, it is his choice, and nobody else's business. Tell her how much you love her, and appreciate all of her love and support over the years. You know she wouldn't do or say anything to cause drama at your wedding. Also, you know she wouldn't do or say anything that would hurt you. Tell her that this man is a dear friend of yours and FH's, and it would break your heart to know that she was talking bad about him, or saying anything inappropriate towards him.

    I know this is really overly dramatic, but will give you an idea of how you might approach your mom with this. IMO, it is none of her business, and it is hurtful to you to make negative comments about a friend.

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  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
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    Thank you! I appreciate your posting this. It’s helpful. The way she acted really got to me. I wanted To defend him immediately but I know That may not be the best choice given the delicacy of the situation.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would tell my mother that if she can’t respect my other guests, she doesn’t have to come to my wedding.
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  • VIP September 2019
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    I think is a very caring and respectful approach. I agree with trying to have a conversation like this
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I'd tell my mother my wedding is centered around love and I support love in all its forms, and that she needs to be respectful even if she doesn't agree with everyone's love. Tell her you want your wedding to be focused on you and your fiance and drawing negative attention to the best man is hurtful for you and for your friend and you hope she is above spoiling the limelight for the bride.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Love this.
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  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
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    Unfortunate to say this would cause more harm then it would solve the problem. My mom gets riled up quicklyz
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  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
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    Thank you this is helpful
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Do you think it may help to give the BM a “heads up” about your mom’s beliefs and to just ignore any snide comments or glares? If me, I might have my guard down at a wedding and a family member’s hurtful comment might catch me off-guard.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
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    This 100%.
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  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
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    Yes I have talked to him. He is hurt by her comments but understands that people are ignorant to certain things.
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  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
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    I've told my mother several time, "I know you disapprove, and it's uncomfortable. But this means a lot for me. You need to respect my decisions. If you don't think you can deal, don't come."

    This was said about my transgender father....

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