Extremely Stressed Out

Take a break from wedding planning every now and then. It can get overwhelming easily. Is there anything you like to do for fun?

I agree with Melle. Take breaks from planning when you can. Get a massage. Walking at night is great too. Try a hot bath every now and again. We carry a lot of tension in our backs so things that will ease that tension help a lot.

Thanks for replying. My FH actually got me a monthly Massage Envy membership for Christmas leading up to the wedding. I do try to do the "fun" non planning related things. Even hosting a game night this weekend! But I still feel that voice "did you email the officiant yet?" "What if you go over time cleaning up? Who's paying for that? You better clean up yourself to he sure." That sort of thing :/

Hey Madison! I’m sorry that you are feeling like this about your wedding but your health is definitely the number one priority so make sure that you are looking after yourself! The pps are right, you should definitely try and take some time and just do something that you enjoy to clear your head.

I know you mentioned that you are the first in your friend group who will be getting married but that doesn’t mean that you should have to hide how you are feeling from them. They may not ‘get’ exactly how you are feeling but they still may be able to sympathize with you, cheer you up or even offer to help with something!

Have you written lists of different things that need to be done? You could then assign tasks to your FH, or family members so that some of the pressure is alleviated from your shoulders.

I want to hone in on the one comment in your post: "Our portion of the expenses have grown quite a bit from the initial expectations, but I'm trying my best to not be resentful about it." - what happened here? Because I feel like if you tackle this issue and how it happened, you might feel better.

Take a step back and possibly cut some stuff out of the wedding. At the end of the day, you and your FS are the only ones who will really notice all the detail so some stuff doesn't really matter.

When you take breaks, make sure that you're unplugged for a bit. It's hard to completely relax when you're still on your phone. If you're stressed about the financial component of the wedding, I'd look at what you can cut. Can you have fewer guests? Fewer flowers? A smaller cake? Do you have any extras like a photo booth that you can easily do without?

View Quoted Comment You're right, that is a huge part of it. I won't go into it too much, but basically some initial promises were made and then when the expenses started adding up more and more things started getting put on us. Usually with something like, "Let's split this actually (now that we're here)." Or just not getting their card out at the store (i.e. paying for my dress but surprising me with not paying for the alterations, suddenly backing out of flowers and the DJ and embarrassingly asking my FFIL to pay for it, marriage license fees, etc.)

We’re in the same boat. These last minute expenses absolutely suck. Your wedding is pretty soon so even if you can’t take regular days off away from wedding craziness, start making time for tea. Sit and close your eyes and just take in the calming moment, you’ll feel a lot better.

I’m too stressed to work out or eat or do my skincare routine either so if it makes you feel better at least you’re not alone! I know there’s this big expectation to look the hottest you’ve ever looked in your life but try not to focus on that, ok? Your SO already thinks you’re hot, you could roll out of bed and you would still be pretty. It’s damn hard to look like a perfect bride. How do people expect brides to be in the best shape of their lives with fresh glowing skin when we feel like crap all the time from the stress? It’s not realistic. Do it for your health, work out because it relieves your stress, eat healthy because it’ll help you feel better.

Remember even if this is miserable right now, it’s almost over! Your wedding will be here before you know it. Good luck!

I feel you. We are a month away and my stress is so bad that my neck tensed up to the point where I was experiencing vertigo, spotty vision, and a fever. And it doesn't help that this month is going to be very event heavy and I really close up when I am stressed. I haven't been eating well, sleeping well, or anything - I can't even keep up with my regular house work. Between working full time, meeting with people almost every day, and all the events I have NO time for the gym or cooking healthy, etc. It really sucks because the stress fixers are only temporary - a massage will make me feel good for a day then it's right back to where I started. I can't pinpoint exactly what I'm so stressed about - but what I have been doing is just focusing on all the positive feelings I will feel because of this stress - taking off work for my bachelorette, relaxing in the car on the drive to vegas - staying in a nice hotel, relaxing by the pool all day, seeing my FH when I walk down the aisle, the joy I'll feel during our first dance, the wedding night in our comfy hotel bed, waking up as his wife and having breakfast with him, taking some days off work to be with him and our dog, having our closest family and friends all around.

View Quoted Comment Thank you hannah! That's actually really helpful to hear someone going through a similar thing/feeling.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for sympathizing!!!