Extremely Small Wedding, Advice?

Engagements only matter if they lead to weddings, so don't worry about your history.

Start visiting restaurants to see how many they can accommodate and how much, PP, it will cost you. I've been to weddings with 15 people, in a private restaurant room, that are simply gorgeous and totally memorable. If money is tight, you don't spend it on parties -- especially with a second child on the way.

That is not totally tacky!! That sounds perfect and stress free for your situation and I don't think you would regret it at all!!

No it's not tacky! Your last sentence says it all-that is what a wedding should be about. Have the wedding that works for you now and will make you happy. You can always save up and have a full blown anniversary party when the time is right.

I need more clarity on what you are proposing. A full blown small wedding is what you described of an intimate ceremony and dinner at a restaurant afterward then bar hopping. But you and your FI will have to pay for all of the food and drink for your guests for that full stop.

You asking if it's tacky makes me think that you intend on your guests paying for their own dinner and drinks like any average weekend get together. Yes, that's tacky as hell, and you should elope just the two of you instead.

If that's a wrong interpretation by me and you do intend to pay for your guests' meals and alcohol to thank them for attending your ceremony, it is in no way tacky. Potentially, as a cost saving choice you could have a morning ceremony and then brunch intimate reception. A daytime reception would not feel the lack of dancing as much if you are worried about that.

Kirackle makes an excellent point. You are paying for everything, right, OP?

I'd just do dinner and drinks all in one place, skip the bar hopping.

You should cover your guests food and drinks at the restaraunt. As for bar hopping, I'd make that a less official thing like okay we are going to the bars now, whoever wants to come with. If you paid for the bar hopping the tab could get wildly expensive.

How did this escalate? I didn't see anything in OPs post that said she wasn't paying.

I agree with paying for the dinner, but you don't necessarily need to pay for bar hopping. Especially if you do a morning ceremony, pay for a nice lunch for your guests, and then go back home to drop the kids off, rest, etc. and then informally meet up for bar hopping later. If you go straight from ceremony to dinner to bars, then it does seem more of a formal extension of your wedding and some guests might assume that you are picking up the tab for that as well.

Courthouse followed by a restaurant meal with your nearest and dearest is perfect. Just as long as (as others have said) you absolutely do not make them pay for anything at the restaurant.

Also, a Sunday lunch would be much cheaper than a Saturday dinner if you are really concerned about budget. For us, the price difference between Saturday and any other day was literally half and lunch was significantly cheaper than dinner. We saved so much on just the day and time that we had extra money to upgrade our alcohol options and add an extra appetizer.

My oldest had a private ceremony followed by a fully hosted dinner at an upscale restaurant in downtown Chicago for 11 people. No bar hopping afterward, but it was a nice wedding.

I have a completely different idea about the dinner and payment, but it seems to go against the type of etiquette most follow on here. Honestly if one of my friends was having a very small wedding like that, I'd probably pay for their dinner and drinks that night. After all, it is their wedding day. I wouldn't see a reason for them to pay for my food, and I'd honestly probably decline them paying for it. That's just me, but I especially wouldn't expect a friend to pay for my bar hopping.

@ashlynnisabella I agree with you emphatically, but the bride and groom should at least offer, and then the guests can debate who gets the honor of paying for their meals instead. And then for bar hopping, although they shouldn't "expect it" necessarily, everybody in the bar will be buying them drinks and shots all night long.

@Rachel S Good points! I agree!

As long as you're paying for the tab it's not tacky!

I think it sounds perfect and later on yall have a celebration party