Expensive Bridesmaid Dress

You aren't being unreasonable at all... Because it's not just $200 either. You still have to factor in the cost of alterations, dry cleaning, shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup. It would be one thing if this was a dress that you had all settled on together within a budget that you all agreed would be workable. I wouldn't mind spending $200 for a dress if this was one of my best friends, but I would assume I'd be given more than a week's notice (especially with our own wedding costs to factor in).

Few things I'd do: 1) find out where it needs to be ordered from & verify with the company that it needs to be ordered 6 months in advance (that's longer than even most wedding dresses take to come in). 2) if it actually needs to be ordered this month, I would decide if it's something I want to put on a credit card. 3) tell your friend that while the dress is lovely (hopefully), you simply cannot afford that much on such short notice. 4) See if you can find an alternative maybe at a lower price point from a company like DB that can get it to you within a couple months so you don't need to order it until like April.

You're not being unreasonable. I, personally, don't think that's that much for a BM dress, but that's not the point; she should have asked you your budget first. The BM dresses for my wedding were $216, but budgets were discussed with the girls and they were all involved in picking out the dress. Your bride should've done the same, and I think you are well within your rights to point that out to her. There's still time to find a less expensive dress, and you should tell her that. If she's not amenable to that, then I'd suggest telling her you're able to pay up to $150, or whatever the comfortable number is for you, and then ask her to pay the difference.

I would tell her I will be attending as a guest, my guess is she will only get worse as it gets closer to her wedding date.

My thoughts exactly! This is just the beginning of things to come. The writing is on the wall with this friend, and I would be surprised if your friendship remains in tact by the end of her wedding.

You are not being unreasonable in your frustration. $200 is way too much for a bride to ask her girls to pay for, and a 1 week deadline is way too short for a bride to ask you to get your dress in. I personally do not know what advice to give other than to explain to her that its not possible (which you said you did to which she responded "you DO have the money because of what you posted" which is in and of itself RIDICULOUS! no one has a right to tell you what you can and cant afford based on what you post or spend etc. Personally, I would drop myself from that bridal party and attend as a guest.

LOL THE PICTURE IS CRACKING ME UP!!! Yeah you're def. not supposed to plan for yourself, and while it may be ok to ask for $ instead of gifts, Expecting you BM's to do that would be CRAZY.

Clearly she has decided that she's unwilling to budget and perhaps is ok ending the friendship over a $200 dress. I would not stress myself or my budget out over this, it is simply not worth it. I would be super curious to know what the other girls are thinking/doing. Very strange that dresses were not brought up until now. I don't think many brides think to ask their BMs about their budgets, but to not atleast discuss dresses before now is odd.

I received a very similar text this time last year, and I hopped to it, a $200 dress from Davids, and I still wish I would not have.

Pass.

It doesn't matter what the other bridesmaids think, it's not in OP's budget to pay for it, so the other bridesmaids opinions DO NOT MATTER.

OP i think you're very VERY smart to distance yourself from this whole situation. Her idea of a shower financing her wedding is an absolutely trash fire of a situation. Do not involved yourself in that.

Just because I told her to distance herself from the shower situation does NOT mean I'm telling her to write off the whole friendship altogether.

This wedding is probably making the bride crazy, it's totally fine to walk away from a situation you don't want to be involved in while still maintaining a relationship with that person outside of their current crazy status.

I would not stand by even my best friend while she did this. I would either tell her what I think of it and give her other (better) options, or let her do it herself. Adults have to learn from their mistakes.