Expensive bachelor party before expensive destination wedding- should I make my finances work to do the party?

It's absolutely ridiculous. Don't feel bad. Especially with a notice like that.

Ridiculous. He should've asked everyone's budget.

To me that's ridiculous. No one can spend your money for you. I'd politely decline and offer to take him out for dinner and/or drinks.

It's completely rude to EXPECT people to pay that without asking first. It should have been this is where we are planning, this is how much it will cost, and let us know if you are in. Personally I would be pissed.

If you cant go, its totally ok. People dont realize that theird wedding costs add up quickly.

You can't go at that price. The end. It's ok.

So many people have trouble saying "I can't afford it" fearing they will be judged.

Just tell the BM and the groom that you are sorry that you won't be able to attend, will miss celebrating with them at the bachelor party and look forward to seeing them all at the wedding.

That's an insane amount of money! Don't stress yourself financially over multiple expensive parties

You are not obligated to go, especially if you can't financially! Don't feel bad about it. Bachelor parties are not a required event (attendance wise - just because they planned one doesn't mean all the guys have to go)

I'd feel bad if my friends spent $100, much less $1K on my bachelorette party! A destination wedding and bachelor (ette) party is too much for average folk, especially on short notice.

Ridiculous, he should have consulted with y'all, and set a budget before planning.

I would decline as well. Don't feel bad.

They should have asked everyone invited what they were ok spending before booking anything. If thebBest Man did not do that, he can not expect you to just be ok paying it. That is a lot of money. If it's not money that younger comfortable spending there is nothing wrong with telling the groom that you will not be able to attend.

I felt bad asking people to pay $40 for a murder mystery dinner! So my Bachelorette party was a day full of things that people could come and go to as desired... like brunch, wine glass paintings, wine tastings, the dinner, and a couple bars. Everything was local so people could meet up and come and go as they wanted and no one felt obligated to spend money they didn't have.

I'm sorry if they are having a destination wedding they should be having a destination bachelor party. It's just bleeding people dry financially.

I would be pissed if I found out people had to pay that much to come to my bach. I think it's ridiculous, especially since the BM didn't ask your budget or run anything by anyone participating before booking it. I personally wouldn't go and I would try to find an opportunity to take the groom out to dinner/drinks instead.

Like others say, if you werent consulted about how much you can spend/contribute, its unfair to demand everyone to pay or attend. Sure, everyone would love to have a fancy destination bachelor/bachelorette but its not feasible for everyones budget- esp w a destination wedding! I agree with others and say to just decline because you cant afford it at the time. I know its tougher tho since your saying its your best friend, so good luck!

I can guarantee you that it's someone else in the group panicking as well. It's so last minute and it puts you all in a tight situation

$1000 is too much. He should not have booked anything until you all approved the budget.

Yeah, no. Do not feel bad. Booking without getting confirmation from people that they are actually going and contributing $ towards the party is on him.