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Casey
VIP December 2018

Expectations vs Reality

Casey, on January 14, 2019 at 9:53 PM

Posted in Planning 29

Hello WW friends! I have been thinking a lot lately about how grand our expectations often are for our wedding, and how much the Pinterest photos have played into our expectations. Even looking at my own photos - it looks like everything went amazing and was a dream. But, the reality is, no wedding...

Hello WW friends! I have been thinking a lot lately about how grand our expectations often are for our wedding, and how much the Pinterest photos have played into our expectations. Even looking at my own photos - it looks like everything went amazing and was a dream.

But, the reality is, no wedding day is perfect. We were running late on hair and makeup and ended up not taking any portraits beforehand, it was 22 degrees out and freezing, one of my flower girls was just a little overstimulated by the time the ceremony came along, we ran out of coffee halfway through dinner, and apparently, my DH's side of the family brought their own Budweiser to the reception?? WTF?

Despite this, though, I had an amazing wedding. I loved my ceremony and reception, and laugh at the photos that were rooted in what I would have considered to be unacceptable problems.

As a fun exercise, I encourage you to either 1. post something that went wrong if you are already married, or 2. Complete this sentence: "Even if _______ happens, I will still feel ___, because I will still be getting married." Confront your fears, overcome your stress, and don't let the seemingly perfect photos get you down or stress you out! For some laughs, I've added some perfect shots of my flower girl, who managed okay during the ceremony as long as she was held by a bridesmaid or picking up flowers, but who was OUTTIE by the time we started taking photos Smiley laugh

Expectationscfb_1114095.jpgReality!cfb_1114097.jpg


29 Comments

  • Casey
    VIP December 2018
    Casey ·
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    Oh wow! I definitely think letting go and accepting the potential chaos helps with stress! I stressed myself out so bad that I had the worst cystic acne breakout to date, which completely went away after the wedding.

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  • Casey
    VIP December 2018
    Casey ·
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    I had a friend with the same situation with poor whether and having to get married inside. I felt really bad for them - especially because they were charged EXTRA for the inside space. Ridiculous.

    So sad about your niece! I would've just had my younger one not even walk in but she really wanted to be a flower girl with her older sister and as long as one of my bridesmaids held her she was happy. I definitely would've changed things up a little so that the girls didn't come until closer to an hour before the wedding instead of 2.5. She was having so much fun but was definitely worn out by the time the ceremony started.

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  • Shay
    Expert April 2024
    Shay ·
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    Oh geesh this is a good thread. As a bride,I’ve learned that I cannot change the world and NOBODIES PERFECT! I Only hope that my day go as planned, with not to many hiccups.. Nevertheless I’m open minded and goofy. So I’m knowing things will happen.... Happy Planning 🍷
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  • Casey
    VIP December 2018
    Casey ·
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    Yes! Nobody is perfect. Focusing on your spouse to-be and your guests will ensure a wonderful wedding, no matter what!

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  • Shay
    Expert April 2024
    Shay ·
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    Yes indeed! That’s right. As long as my Best friend is staying at the head of the Alter
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  • Shay
    Expert April 2024
    Shay ·
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    We gone be A1... 🍷
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  • Alyssa
    Master December 2019
    Alyssa ·
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    Even if it snows and no one attends or even sees a single piece of our 50th investment and we have no family, friends or vendors show up: I will still be okay because I will still be getting married to Glenn and our marriage is based off a hell of a lot ore than an overpriced party
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  • kymarmck
    Super March 2020
    kymarmck ·
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    I really love this post!

    I think your last photo of the flower girl is so genuine though! It's hard to keep kids content so I'm hoping my cousins (who are ring bearers) will be able to be content until after the ceremony at least!

    My confronting of fears really lies in the photos.

    Even if we don't get every single photo I'm dreaming of, I will still be happy because I'm getting married!

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  • Gipperkm
    Super September 2018
    Gipperkm ·
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    Love this post! It's so very easy to expect perfection given the perfection we see all over Pinterest and social media. I had high expectations, but by the end of the planning, I was more exhausted than stressed and just so ready to marry my hubby, that I really wasn't stressed on our wedding day. I put my phone away, everyone around me took care of everything and it all worked our perfectly in my/our eyes, even with the little things that didn't go right.

    What didn't go right...There was a race in town that day that we didn't know about and we almost didn't get our lunch while we were getting ready. We were all getting pretty darn hangry! Our really cool place cards were not put in the right spot, so guests took theirs before the ceremony and our photographer never got photos (such a small lame detail, but it bothered me for like a month). We did a wine unity ceremony during our wedding ceremony and the restaurant forgot to open the wine beforehand, so we had to stand up there while someone ran up and opened them (I totally laugh at this now). Our FG didn't pose for a single photo, but they ended up making the photos even better (some were hilarious!). We did a first look and lots of formal photos beforehand, but the very few photos we had left that we did during the cocktail hour still ended up taking forever and because of that my husband didn't get to try any of the appetizers and we never even saw the cheese and charcuterie station. This was more my fault, but I ran out of time to really research wedding photos/poses I wanted before the wedding and I wish I had. Our photos are beautiful and our photographer came up with some unique ideas for poses, but there were some poses I wish we had done. We did so well visiting every single guest, but that meant I wasn't on the dance floor as much as I wanted to be and we missed some of the must play slow songs on our list. I certainly didn't want to get wasted at my wedding, but their cocktails and wine are beyond delicious and I think I had 2 drinks all night long. We also missed 95% of the desserts.

    It was still the absolute best day of our lives and it could've gone so much worse. For about a month or two after the wedding, I kept thinking about the things that went wrong, but eventually told myself I needed to stop dwelling on those tiny details. We had a blast and so did our wedding party and guests. That's really all that matters.

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