Excluding My Family from My Elopement?

I wouldn't rush to marry someone just because my parents were going to kick me off of their insurance.

Plenty of people elope just as the groom and bride.

I think you need to think this one through.

I have 3 half brother, a half sister and 2 step sisters. I'm inviting one brother and one step sister. I've struggled alot with this decision but ultimately came to the decision that it was my wedding and I didn't need people there that will upset or stress me out.

I am not having anyone except my FW, officiant, and photographer at my wedding. If you don't want to invite them then don't.

Those are the worst reasons I've ever heard for getting married.

I definitely think that you should think about it for a while and let all the emotions out. I think eloping is fine, but allowing some people and excluding others could definitely cause an argument. However, it is your wedding - so it's ultimately up to you as to what you want. Think about it for a while, weight the pros and cons and go with your gut.

I wouldn't say that we're rushing, we've lived together for a few years now and it's something we've discussed prior to our current situation. I've always had a feeling I might have to consider excluding my parents and other family members from our future wedding because we don't see eye to eye and that causes a lot of issues.

Currently, getting married would benefit us, because he has really good car insurance plus I could receive financial aid for school finally (I couldn't before because the culinary school I tried to attend wanted me to redo my paperwork using my dad's information even though he kicked me out when I was 18, and he makes way too much for me to receive any financial aid).

The only family I want to invite on my side are my uncle and grandmother because they took me in after my dad kicked me out and I had been homeless for a few months. But I'm worried inviting them would somehow get back to the rest of my family, even if I decided to keep the marriage and elopement a secret.

Two more really bad reasons for getting married. Sigh..................

Those aren't my primary reasons for getting married, they're just financial perks really. But I respect your opinion.

My sister got married and didn't tell anyone. They got engaged just before Christmas, then went to the courthouse as soon as it opened after New Year's. His mom and one of his brothers were there as witnesses, but everyone else found out on Facebook. It wasn't to spite anyone, but we were pretty hurt to not be included. Got over it, though, because I love her and she was happy.

We excluded 100% of our families. No bad blood though.

His parents and sister were supportive of our relationship but seemed very "blase/whatever" about it (and marriage in general) and I don't feel close to my sister & brother and felt that my mom would only stress me out and not allow me to enjoy the day. So we invited 12 of our closest friends and got married without them.

We told them afterwards, explained it was just "a ceremony and dinner and drinks" and everyone took it fine (as I predicted cause it wasn't a 'big deal").

Also, I want to note that his sister got married at a courthouse on a wednesday (i missed it) and both my sister and brother did the same; my brother didnt tell us until about year later (cause he wanted to tell us in person and lives across country) and my sister didnt tell me, my mom was her witness and she wound up telling me. Sis also got married after almost 20 years of being with her SO simply because they wanted to adopt, otherwise they probably never would have married.

So.. we're all very lax about tradition and what not lol.

How old are you?

We did not invite anyone. No family members on either side, no friends. We did talk to our parents and our "VIPs" because we did kind of want their "blessing" and everyone was on board. I know the situation is a little different, neither of us were in the middle of a falling out with family, but part of the reason I wanted to elope because I didn't want to deal with certain family members due to years of drama and stuff.

I do agree that you shouldn't marry someone just for the "financial perks." My husband makes 3x as much as I do, and has the entire time we've been together. Never ever did I think about the financial perks of marrying him. I wanted to marry him even he was broke. I would stay with him even if he was broke. Because he is a good man, he treats me well, and makes me happy. I feel like you may not understand what marriage truly is about.

If I'm not mistaken...i believe the original intent of an elopement was to run away together in a hurry and in secret to get married, not a bring your family/friends kind of thing....

it sounds like you just want a small wedding....which is perfectly fine.

If you just truly elope then it's just you and FH, which might be a better option compared to trying to invite some and excluding others..

just elope and don't invite anyone..

Exactly right - If you are going to elope then ELOPE! Don't tell anyone - don't pick and choose people over other close people - you end up hurting close family members. A wedding is about the bride and groom or bride and bride or groom and groom. That's always number one....

But how they marry sets the tone for how the families interact. If you have a close family and exclude everyone, you set. the tone of.... "we are off to live our own life." If you have a wedding that brings families and friends together to support and be a part of your wedding you, in turn make them a part of the foundation of your relationship and invested in your success, of the marriage. No matter how big or small, a wedding builds the foundation for a stronger extended family. On the flip side, it sends a strong signal for people who are not included.

My niece who I am best friends, had asked me to officiate her September wedding in June. A few months passed, and she called to say the wedding Is off and "they decided just to go and elope." A. month later she called to ask for my blessing as she was having a judge marry them. that day.. A few hours later the wedding was called off due to COVID. Today my sister called to tell me that my niece got married, yesterday and my sister was invited as the witness. When the judge arrived she explained they needed a second witness, so they called a mutual friend of theirs to witness who lived down the street.. So, yesterday they were married- Knowing all this was very hurtful not to be included. I have no idea what to say to her when she tells me tomorrow, I'm so hurt.