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Db

Excluded from sisters wedding

Db, on March 5, 2022 at 9:56 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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I am hoping for some advice on how to handle this situation. My sister is getting married. I got an invite about a month ago and the wedding is next month. We have 2 other sisters and they live in 2 different states but those 3 are still close. A little background... we are half siblings and have had a strained relationship. We share the same mother but they do not speak to her. My entire life I have been excluded by them even though they claim I'm their real sister and they have no issue with me. However, I have always been excluded. They even got a trinity symbol tattoo for 3 sisters when hey.. there's a 4th! 👋 They have always treated me different because of our looks. They are well.. for lack of a better word, fake. Fake hair, fake books, fake eyelashes.. and I am more... natural and have some curves. They have always ostracized me because of this. Even after losing weight.
So back to the issue.. I was totally excited for the wedding until I saw the wedding party. Our 2 sisters are her maid of honors. And she has an additional 10 bridesmaids.. 10. She also asked my father to walk her down the aisle. I feel that should be left for me as I am his daughter. Anyhow, I feel like it's a huge slap in the face and just another instance for them to shove it in my face that I am not good enough for them. I have already decided I am not going to the wedding. My question is.. should I be honest or just leave it be so I don't look selfish? Please help.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Kathryn, on March 5, 2022 at 8:11 PM
  • B
    Devoted June 2023
    bevbabe ·
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    I would be honest.

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  • K
    Dedicated May 2019
    Kylie ·
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    It’s normal to feel hurt, but honestly they’ve shown you with their actions that they don’t consider you a sister, and it would be best for your mental health to accept that, move on and stop trying to seek their approval.
    So I guess your dad is her stepdad? Is her dad not in the picture? I would totally let that go and I promise it will be no less special when he walks you down the aisle. Also, gently, do you see the hypocrisy in wanting your dad to only walk you down the aisle because you are his daughter and your half sisters are not, but also you wanting them to treat you as a full sister?
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  • K
    Dedicated May 2019
    Kylie ·
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    And, no, I wouldn’t bring any of this to the bride’s attention. Just RSVP no and disengage if people try to talk to you about it—do know some people may think you’re being petty.
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  • Db
    Db ·
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    Yes I absolutely see what you are saying and I honestly had no reaction to my father walking her down the aisle until I saw I was excluded. Thats when i kind of lost it and was like well if im not your sister, hes not your dad. It was selfish on my part and more from emotion. But I think I should just quietly slip away. Don't think they would notice anyway. Thank you so much for your honest input!
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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    I'm going to be honest, you said yourself, it's a strained relationship, the other three are close, you called them them fake, based on those things alone, I'm not sure why you'd want to be a part of it, but I do get that it hurts to be the one left out. I think you should not say anything. You don't know how the bride is feeling, you don't know why she made the choices she did or how she actually feels about you (because it sounds like you've never really had a conversation about your relationship with them), it's all based on how you feel or how you perceive them to be treating you. I think if you ever want to improve your relationship with them, that you should not say anything and go and be supportive, because not going will likely mean the end of any potential relationship, it does come across as slightly petty and to me comes from a place of hurt, not love and support from a sister.

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  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    Also just out of curiosity, do the other three share the same father? Are they closer in age, were they always together growing up while you may have been elsewhere (since you said they don't talk to your mom, I assume you do?)

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I have been in a similar situation with sisters (I'm adopted). It sucks not to feel included in family. I get it I really do. The only thing that brought me peace was not attaching anymore to being part of anything and gently walking away. Living my own life, with people that did want me around.

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  • K
    Beginner July 2022
    Kathryn ·
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    My honest advice?


    Don’t fall prey to being petty. You clearly wish you could have a closer relationship with your sisters but that is simply not reality. You said yourself, the relationships are strained and you acknowledge that you guys have significant differences. Unfortunately sometimes there are personality clashes amongst family. This doesn’t mean they don’t love you or aren’t loyal to you. Remember the wedding isn’t about your sister, but a celebration of the relationship to her husband to be. Go to the wedding and enjoy yourself. Think of it as an added bonus that you get to avoid bridesmaid duties because we all know weddings are better as a guest anyways. Be happy for your sister! Be understanding that even though you wish you could have been included, there are probably others who are more actively involved in her life & significant to their relationship.
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