Ex is thinking about the same venue

Given the size of the town I would think people may not think too much of it. Also, how did the relationship end? If good, then there really should be no worries. If poorly, then people might think something. I will tell you though, ni matter how much effort you put into the wedding, someone will have a thought about something. Don't let thia ruin your vision for your day.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I’m actually not sure how it ended, it’s not something I’ve really asked him about because it never really pertained to my relationship with him. Im starting to feel like at the end of the day people I would hope people understand that there aren’t many options, and honestly it shouldn’t bother them as I’m not doing it to be malicious.

I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal considering you guys live in a smaller town.


Will there be quite a bit of overlapping guests? Meaning guests that will be invited to both weddings.

View Quoted Comment I don’t really think so, we don’t have a ton of close mutual friends!

Do you know for a fact that she has booked that venue?

I don't really see the issue considering you live in a small town with limited options. Plus, if you don't know for a fact that she and her fiance have booked that venue, than no one could really blame you. She may end up booking something else. But, if people have something to say about it, I would brush it off and possibly reconsider inviting them to your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Oh then you’re fine!


If you had overlapping guests then MAYBE some guests would compare the weddings especially since they’re at the same venue. However, if you only have a few (if any) guests going to both, then it’s a non-issue. You’re good, girl! Don’t worry about it.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you on not needing to know if it isn't relevant. My husband had an ex who created some problems. They got married at a courthouse so my goal was to not go that route. Didn't want any reminders if that makes sense. If he doesn't talk about any of it then you are probably fine!

View Quoted Comment Yes, she said in the comments that they have it booked for December, two months after my date.

I think that because like you said, it’s a small town and there’s only so many venues it’s not a big deal! Our town is similar, we have been to 4 friends weddings over the last two years at the venue we selected. 😊it’s just difficult being a small town with limited venue options. No one else will think “oh she did that in spite”! Don’t stress over it.

I don't think anyone will think twice about it. A venue is a venue. Many people share the same venue, especially if options are limited. Also, if there aren't overlapping mutual friends and your wedding is 2 months before hers, no one will probably even think twice about it (if they even think about it at all).

I agree with pp saying given the size of the town it seems you're limited on options anyway. where i am from, that's how it also goes. my friend had considered the venue i had mine because there's only so many options available. plus, every wedding is designed differently with colors and decor and stuff so it may not end up LOOKING any similar

View Quoted Comment In that case, how would anyone know if you booked it after her? You don't need to tell anyone when you booked. Enjoy your planning and don't give it another thought.

Book the venue. I live in a small town in Northern CA we have about 3000 people in the town. We have zero venues. There are only 4 venues in our entire county. Repeats will happen.

I live in a small rural area. Anyone who married someone from any of our cluster of 6 small towns , 400 plus square miles, knows at least 5 people of his or her close friends who dated their spouse. With maybe 200 weddings each year these days, and about 5 venues and 4-6 public places that are not strictly for rich tourists, anyone with a local wedding knows others have been there, and more will be there in the future. So what? There is no prize for being g the only one to use a venue. Generally, with restaurants, clubs, and entertainment, the ones that the most people want to go to, and go often, are considered the best. The most desirable. People ask friends and family for recommendations, to weed out the bad places, and everyone flicks to the good ones. That is also true in every big city I ever lived in. Hundreds or thousands of places to eat, party, or be entertained, and a few have lines if book in advance . Why are you set on being different for the sake of being different? Who would realize you both had your wedding in the same place, and think it meant anything at all, except a malicious drama queen. Your answer if anyone brings it up is, I don't pay any attention to her life, she doesn't care about mine. We both were looking for a great place that suited our needs. And we found this place. ... How is coincidence a problem to anyone? If they pursue it, just be clear that you think they are making a big deal out of nothing, which makes you think the ones talking have a nasty side. Because it is true. There is no other reason for trying to attribute nasty motives involving one of you out to get the other, to an accidental but not unlikely happening.

I wouldn't worry about it. When we booked a venue I had hoped to find a venue we had never been to for a wedding before and that was kind of tough. There are some popular venues in our area that we've been to 5 or 6 weddings at. I'm sure people won't think anything of it if it's a small town and options are limited. It's your big day - I don't think you should compromise on your venue just to avoid doing whatever an ex is doing.

Do you think there would be overlap in your guest lists?

So my fiancé and I toured a venue alone one day. We thought it was the one, so we brought our parents out for an open house they were hosting. We picked a date, put a deposit down and had the coordinator write up a contract. The day after, we found out a couple we know (the bride is best friends with a girl my FH dated for a short time), had recently signed a contract, for THE WEEKEND BEFORE! To me, this was a sign that it was indeed, not the venue for us. Moral of the story, if you’re feeling type of way or there are any weird feelings associated with your venue, move on to the next one. You don’t want your wedding or memories from your big day to come with bad vibes.

Don’t stress it! There aren’t many options in a small town area so just focus on what you and your fiancé want.

Dont let that stop you!! But if its too much have you thought of getting a wedding planner to help you find something else? The 3k i am paying my planner is worth it because she helped me find a FREE reception area!! Its Nice too! I didnt know that this restaurant had a ballroom that is free if you use $3k in food and drinks.. which will easy to surpass with my 130 wedding.

I wouldn't worry about it. Don't let your ex ruin your wedding plans