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Just Said Yes January 2021

Ex Best Friend as Maid of Honor!?

Amanda, on January 24, 2019 at 12:04 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 16

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I miss my old best friend sooo much.

She got married last year and had chosen her roommate as her MOH, I was a little hurt, but agreed to be her bridesmaid, well a few months later she got into a huge fight with her roommate and asked me to be MOH and asked if my daughter would be her flower girl. Then less than a week before the wedding she told me she no longer wanted me as her maid of honor but that I could go back to being a bridesmaids if I wanted. I was going through some serious health issues at the time that she knew of and was already emotionally exhausted. I told her that I just wouldn't be in her wedding then.

We stopped talking and she moved states.
Well now, the girl who ended up being her maid of honor is getting married and she's been flying back and forth to help this girl plan her wedding.

We have been trying to rekindle that friendship, but she doesn't want the other girl to know we are friends (for who knows what reason)

Anways, she was my best friend for years. And I couldn't imagine anyone else being my MOH. Do I ask her and hope she doesn't "wreck my wedding" like she said I did to hers? Or do I just cut my losses?

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Alejandra, on January 24, 2019 at 2:22 PM

Devoted January 2019
Nicole · on January 24, 2019 at 12:09 PM
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Cut your losses!!!!
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Super May 2019
Victoria · on January 24, 2019 at 12:11 PM
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Nope, cut your losses. She obviously doesn’t value your friendship and I can tell just by the small bit you’ve shared with us! I wouldn’t even invite her if I were you, but I’m petty.
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Just Said Yes January 2021
Amanda · on January 24, 2019 at 12:15 PM
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Thanks laides,
I got a feeling that's what everyone was going to say. I guess I just needed some validation.
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Master April 2019
Brittany · on January 24, 2019 at 12:16 PM
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OMG, pick literally anyone else to be your MOH. This person sounds horrible. This friendship is not worth pursuing, in my opinion. You're better off without her.
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Savvy September 2019
Daisy · on January 24, 2019 at 12:17 PM
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If you value the friendship, I’d focus on repairing that and leave your wedding out of it. Invite her and her husband as guests, but I caution you against having her in the wedding party. If you do, you’re inviting what sounds like inevitable drama.
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Expert June 2021
Alexis · on January 24, 2019 at 12:27 PM
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Cut your losses, for sure. I ended up having to with a girl who was my best friend for 8 years, but I honestly feel so much better. She clearly doesn't value your friendship, so you're better off going with someone else who won't make you feel the way she did.
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Expert March 2019
Jessica · on January 24, 2019 at 12:28 PM
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Do not have her in your wedding. Invite them as guest but that's it
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VIP August 2018
Kristen · on January 24, 2019 at 12:29 PM
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Definitely don't choose her. There are plenty of times to work on your relationship but your wedding shouldn't be one of them.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on January 24, 2019 at 12:40 PM
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Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to deal with MOH/BM drama. If you want to keep working on repairing the friendship, that's fine. But I wouldn't risk drama in your wedding by asking her to be a part of it.
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Super November 2019
Melissa · on January 24, 2019 at 12:48 PM
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I would go with someone else. Especially if she said you "wrecked her wedding."
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Master May 2020
Tara · on January 24, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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I recommend you cut your losses, based on her past wishy-washy behavior . You can still rekindle your friendship with her.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 24, 2019 at 12:57 PM
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I would just ask her why she doesn't want the other girl to know. If someone had to keep their friendship with me a secret, I wouldn't have the friendship at all. She can't be your MOH if she can't post or be tagged in pictures at your bridal shower, bachelorette or wedding or have to block out weekends to help plan.
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Master October 2018
MrsV1027 · on January 24, 2019 at 1:10 PM
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Girl you do NOT need that drama in your life. Pick your nearest and dearest and don't use the wedding to rekindle a friendship. Just let it go.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on January 24, 2019 at 1:15 PM
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Do not ask her...that would just be asking for trouble and drama. Why on earth would she need to keep y'all's friendship secret from anyone else? If I need to be kept a secret, then obviously we aren't good friends. Sounds like you are trying to grasp on the an old friendship that just isn't there anymore. It's sad and I am sorry you are going through that, but if you ask her to be in your wedding you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
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VIP July 2019
Summerbride77 · on January 24, 2019 at 2:08 PM
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There’s not better way to say this. Dont’t ask her. Ask someone who is there for you and is your friend now.
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Super March 2019
Alejandra · on January 24, 2019 at 2:22 PM
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Agree you can have her as a guests but not in your party, you'll be more hurt if you ask her and she turns out to be horrible to you. Just the fact that she said you "wrecked her wedding" for something you had no power over is terrible and I'd think whether or not I really want her in my life.
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