A
Just Said Yes January 2021

Ex Best Friend as Maid of Honor!?

Amanda, on January 24, 2019 at 12:04 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 16
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I miss my old best friend sooo much.

She got married last year and had chosen her roommate as her MOH, I was a little hurt, but agreed to be her bridesmaid, well a few months later she got into a huge fight with her roommate and asked me to be MOH and asked if my daughter would be her flower girl. Then less than a week before the wedding she told me she no longer wanted me as her maid of honor but that I could go back to being a bridesmaids if I wanted. I was going through some serious health issues at the time that she knew of and was already emotionally exhausted. I told her that I just wouldn't be in her wedding then.

We stopped talking and she moved states.
Well now, the girl who ended up being her maid of honor is getting married and she's been flying back and forth to help this girl plan her wedding.

We have been trying to rekindle that friendship, but she doesn't want the other girl to know we are friends (for who knows what reason)

Anways, she was my best friend for years. And I couldn't imagine anyone else being my MOH. Do I ask her and hope she doesn't "wreck my wedding" like she said I did to hers? Or do I just cut my losses?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Alejandra, on January 24, 2019 at 2:22 PM
  • Nicole
    Devoted January 2019
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    Cut your losses!!!!
    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    Nope, cut your losses. She obviously doesn’t value your friendship and I can tell just by the small bit you’ve shared with us! I wouldn’t even invite her if I were you, but I’m petty.
    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes January 2021
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    Thanks laides,
    I got a feeling that's what everyone was going to say. I guess I just needed some validation.
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    OMG, pick literally anyone else to be your MOH. This person sounds horrible. This friendship is not worth pursuing, in my opinion. You're better off without her.

    • Reply
  • Daisy
    Savvy September 2019
    Daisy ·
    • Flag
    If you value the friendship, I’d focus on repairing that and leave your wedding out of it. Invite her and her husband as guests, but I caution you against having her in the wedding party. If you do, you’re inviting what sounds like inevitable drama.
    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Expert June 2021
    Alexis ·
    • Flag

    Cut your losses, for sure. I ended up having to with a girl who was my best friend for 8 years, but I honestly feel so much better. She clearly doesn't value your friendship, so you're better off going with someone else who won't make you feel the way she did.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Expert March 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Do not have her in your wedding. Invite them as guest but that's it
    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    Definitely don't choose her. There are plenty of times to work on your relationship but your wedding shouldn't be one of them.

    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to deal with MOH/BM drama. If you want to keep working on repairing the friendship, that's fine. But I wouldn't risk drama in your wedding by asking her to be a part of it.

    • Reply
  • M
    Super November 2019
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    I would go with someone else. Especially if she said you "wrecked her wedding."
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    I recommend you cut your losses, based on her past wishy-washy behavior . You can still rekindle your friendship with her.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I would just ask her why she doesn't want the other girl to know. If someone had to keep their friendship with me a secret, I wouldn't have the friendship at all. She can't be your MOH if she can't post or be tagged in pictures at your bridal shower, bachelorette or wedding or have to block out weekends to help plan.

    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag

    Girl you do NOT need that drama in your life. Pick your nearest and dearest and don't use the wedding to rekindle a friendship. Just let it go.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    Do not ask her...that would just be asking for trouble and drama. Why on earth would she need to keep y'all's friendship secret from anyone else? If I need to be kept a secret, then obviously we aren't good friends. Sounds like you are trying to grasp on the an old friendship that just isn't there anymore. It's sad and I am sorry you are going through that, but if you ask her to be in your wedding you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

    • Reply
  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    There’s not better way to say this. Dont’t ask her. Ask someone who is there for you and is your friend now.
    • Reply
  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
    • Flag

    Agree you can have her as a guests but not in your party, you'll be more hurt if you ask her and she turns out to be horrible to you. Just the fact that she said you "wrecked her wedding" for something you had no power over is terrible and I'd think whether or not I really want her in my life.

    • Reply

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